20070227
i'm fairly sure my wife had an affair with a (married) classmate. i started reading her emails at some point and called her on it, and now regret that because she played it off as friends (and knows i may be watching now), but in my heart i feel something went on (is still going on) and now she's just covering it up. worse, we have a child and i'm pretty much to the point where even if she came clean, i wouldn't leave for the good of our child. my wife takes classes and spends all my money and i'm trying to get up the nerve to leave, but i don't want my child's life be a statistic or a cliche because of our splitting up. i just want to be the good guy here; i guess that's why she decided to screw around on me in the first place.
since she quit her job and went back to school, she's started all sorts of random, rebellious shit like smoking weed again, tattoos, tongue studs, antidepressants, etc, and i think she's having a quarter-life crisis. if she continues in this vein i may be going down with the ship, whatever that means...
why do women try so hard to change men and when they start succeeding, they get bored and start soul searching for someone else to change. i should really stop trying to apply common sense or logic to my situation, as they simply don't apply to her actions at this point...
i thought this girl was the one, but am increasingly sure that i'm being used for rent and board. help.
