20130429

fuck. i was wrong. i think. i don't know. who knows. she was right. they're always right.

20130427

Finally got the rejection I was searching for, and of course, it was bittersweet. In monosyllabic punctuated terms, this subpar mate judged me as inferior, and I allowed it to get to me.. but only momentarily.

I have many flaws but I accept them for what they are. Only recently have I stopped focusing on them, and instead, I've started promoting the positive qualities of me. I will graciously accept rejection from a vapid woman, and continue to seek out opportunities for myself, while maintaining the premise that life is not meant to be lived self-centered, but self-aware.

20130426

this may (i'm not sure) be the first time i've ever posted a pic on this blog. probably won't be the last.. anyway, i don't really recognize myself here, but i looked great today. ran with my kid, and managed to find my footing after a disastrous week.



lunch and dinner: chicken and cottage cheese

20130424

two salads, one fried one grilled, standard fare.

benching tonight after a three hour nap.

my boss is leaving in a month. my personal life was just starting to stabilize.. hopefully my professional life doesn't tumble out of control. the elusive balance of life.

20130421

Headed home, windows down, 96X up (yep it's back), with my dog leaning out the window and my kiddo singing behind me. what a weekend. life is almost perfect. almost..

was that really an hour long conversation? wow. best joke of the night

homecoming queen? more like dairy queen.

20130420

friendzoned. classic me.

lunch: a bit of chicken
dinner: um oh right protein shake

also i biked. i'm kinda depressed i dropped the ball on this one.

20130419

first date in three years. we ran a boston charity run and went to an after party .. afterwards.

she ended up talking to her old friend for an hour, and essentially ignoring me. it hurt but this was still an amazingly GOOD occurrence in my post-divorce life.

lunch: steak and veggies
dinner: two sliders, salad, two beers (fat tire)

20130416

lunch: grilled chicken salad (bar)
dinner: chicken and cottage cheese

finality. i'm having trouble accepting it... it's a strange thing.

20130415

lunch: chicken/cottage cheese
dinner: newks favorite salad

havent heard anything today, maybe the whole thing was in my head. maybe she's not cool with my religion. either way, it's a fucking monday.

good grief at this shit in boston at the marathon.. fucking crazy people in this world. :(

20130414

weirdest weekend ever. ruined my chances with a girl. and then got her number.

lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
dinner: beef fajitas at mi pueblo

so full.

20130413

my child reminds me that i wasn't always a failure. i succeeded today, but i also failed. manual labor has been my only solace.

newk's salad for lunch

20130411

did i really miss four days? fuck. i've been talking to women, both in person and online. it's an exciting time for me, as i come out of the shell a bit. i just have to continue to continuously prepare myself for rejection and continously continue to open up to success. or something like that.

did i even make it a week on the calorie counting? i feel bloated and gross today. such a woman.

20130407

2 mi run this morning, followed by a walk

lunch: chili and cottage cheese

20130406

Running:
0:55:14 || 5 mi || flat (+499 pts)

after-run lunch: chicken/cottage cheese and protein shake (SO FULL)

20130405

skipped lunch, and then instead of being smart, i had chicken and cottage cheese and then a smoothie and a huge nap and i watched justified and didn't work out and BLAH

tomorrow i'm running.. or something. if my leg stops hurting.

20130404

deactivation.

lunch: burger and sweet potato fries
dinner: chicken and sweet potato.. too much

played more kinect sports with kiddo. it's all coming crashing down.

20130403

im at work. still feel like feet. putting up with bullshit already.

dance with the dragon
for a chance to imagine
what it takes to understand
all the shakes of a hand
for the passing fancy
of a lass who can't see
the you inside of you
the foolish eyes see through
imprisoned in an untouched city
isn't it all such a pity

meal	food(s)	cal	carbs(g)	protein
lunch	favorite chicken salad	800	55	38
dinner	favorite chicken salad	800	55	38
total		1600	110	76

jesus i'm boring.

Barbell Squat:
45 lb x 5 reps (+36 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+121 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+121 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+121 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+121 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+121 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+121 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+121 pts)
gwar - war party
Standing Barbell Shoulder Press (OHP):
45 lb x 5 reps (+49 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
115 lb x 5 reps (+79 pts)
115 lb x 5 reps (+79 pts)
Dips - Triceps Version:
5 reps (+34 pts)
5 reps (+34 pts)
5 reps (+34 pts)
Kroc Rows:
40 lb x 30 reps (+42 pts)
40 lb x 20 reps (+38 pts)
40 lb x 10 reps (+34 pts)

20130402

meal	food(s)	cal	carbs(g)	protein
lunch	bar chicken salad	700	45	35
dinner	turkey, asparagus and cottage cheese	700	40	40
total		1400	85	75

20130401

meal	food(s)	cal	carbs(g)	protein
lunch	chicken strips, cottage cheese	900	60	90
dinner	favorite chicken salad	800	55	38
snack	moar chikin	300	5	17
total		2000	120	145

Running:
0:19:20 || 2 mi || flat (+197 pts)

recorded a rough draft for the first song i've done in..
i dunno almost a year. wonder was written on 05/10/2012 and it's been mostly false starts since.

i guess it's time to start up a new (4th) album. this new song is called "rise and shine" and is an attempt to write something.. happy. i apparently didn't fail.