fuck i just woke up
also: i love the holidays
also also: finished up oblivion
sad that i can sum up my life in terms of games...
also my brain is out to get me. i lifted a lot yesterday and tried to keep my food intake down.... even locked my own doors inside the house. still sleepwalked into the kitchen for more. i need a therapist.
oh look http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_eating_syndrome
20121229
20121227
20121227
Distance: 3.00 mi
Time: 30:38
Avg Pace: 10:12 min/mi
Elevation Gain: 108 ft
Calories: 535 C
i stopped logging stuff on fitocracy when my weight gain started back. seemed pointless accumulating points and pounds both, so i picked one.
fml.
20121221
20121221
and today i felt great.
work lunch at a churrascaria.
down to play with kiddo.
and then an nba game with her in box seats.
the holidays are bad for my waistline though.
work lunch at a churrascaria.
down to play with kiddo.
and then an nba game with her in box seats.
the holidays are bad for my waistline though.
20121220
20121220
Cold and wet, the morning frost
Anoints another year of loss
The spinning top can turn time down
To stay in stasis all year round
A hibernation left in state
Belabored, pointed twist of fate
Wait for hope and hope for a sign
It's always and never a matter of time
Anoints another year of loss
The spinning top can turn time down
To stay in stasis all year round
A hibernation left in state
Belabored, pointed twist of fate
Wait for hope and hope for a sign
It's always and never a matter of time
20121216
20121216
"I can't understand that guy at all."
"He's from Kenya."
"Norbert in my class is from Kenya, but they moved here so they could learn things from America like how to talk normal."
"He's from Kenya."
"Norbert in my class is from Kenya, but they moved here so they could learn things from America like how to talk normal."
20121129
20121119
20121119
two miles.
fridge remnants for lunch, salad for dinner (cereal later)
monday night football, i guess. an early departure (would that i could be so lucky)
fridge remnants for lunch, salad for dinner (cereal later)
monday night football, i guess. an early departure (would that i could be so lucky)
20121118
20121118
up at 9.
to the park.
church at 10:30. threatened with hell.
so depressed i just want to call it at this point... but
lunch at 11:30. newk's favorite salad.
off to the big city park. paddle boats. playground.
over to the zoo.
dinner at 5:00. indian. too much food.
back for nfl and laundry and books and bed.
9:30 and my team is losing.
i had a protein shake (no milk).
to the park.
church at 10:30. threatened with hell.
so depressed i just want to call it at this point... but
lunch at 11:30. newk's favorite salad.
off to the big city park. paddle boats. playground.
over to the zoo.
dinner at 5:00. indian. too much food.
back for nfl and laundry and books and bed.
9:30 and my team is losing.
i had a protein shake (no milk).
20121117
20121117
i once found a girl who wasn't there
with knowing eyes and see through hair
in promenade through visions past
from a world that wasn't there
eleven years ago today
with plans to go she promised to stay
but couldn't take my breath away
with a kiss that wasn't there
encouraged anew to set apart
to replace an ending that wouldn't start
complacent dreams are all that's left
of a fate that wasn't there
and all aflutter from staring down
in restless slumber and thoughts aloud
the life and love she never found
from a man who wasn't there
20 mi bike, yard work, etc
with knowing eyes and see through hair
in promenade through visions past
from a world that wasn't there
eleven years ago today
with plans to go she promised to stay
but couldn't take my breath away
with a kiss that wasn't there
encouraged anew to set apart
to replace an ending that wouldn't start
complacent dreams are all that's left
of a fate that wasn't there
and all aflutter from staring down
in restless slumber and thoughts aloud
the life and love she never found
from a man who wasn't there
20 mi bike, yard work, etc
20121111
20121111
another 10 miles on the bike this morning, then a bunch more yard work. i'm beat.
bitchface showed up with douchenozzle to drop off kiddo. he waved. fuck him.
lunch: newk's favorite salad
dinner: chicken and protein shake
enjoyed the park but it was really windy.
and then the storm hit.
the saints won, so that's good. and alabama lost, also good.
kiddo wants to play, so i'm out.
---
10pm. a sudden rush of blood to the head. lightheadedness and heart racing. arms numb. if i'm out, it's been fun. going to lie in bed and wonder what i did wrong, and marvel at what i did right.
bitchface showed up with douchenozzle to drop off kiddo. he waved. fuck him.
lunch: newk's favorite salad
dinner: chicken and protein shake
enjoyed the park but it was really windy.
and then the storm hit.
the saints won, so that's good. and alabama lost, also good.
kiddo wants to play, so i'm out.
---
10pm. a sudden rush of blood to the head. lightheadedness and heart racing. arms numb. if i'm out, it's been fun. going to lie in bed and wonder what i did wrong, and marvel at what i did right.
20121110
20121110
biked 15 mi. had a protein bar along the way.
installed gutter screens on the entire back of the house and a little bit around the sides and downspouts.
also alabama lost. not a bad day all in all.
lunch: chicken, cottage cheese
snack: uncrustable
dinner: homemade soup
missing my kidlet a little but i've gotten stuff done.
---
and then at 11pm as i was trying to go to sleep, the depression hit.
the realization of how little i've accomplished since she left.
it's almost been two whole years... and i've done almost nothing. stagnated.
no dating. haven't really made much of a dent in my body situation, which i still believe is the key to my happiness.
i did go to the beach and take my shirt off.
i beat a bunch of video games.
i kept the parenting boat afloat.
and yet i feel like i'm winning the battles and losing the war.
going to cry myself to sleep and wish for a drug to grant me release.
trapped in a shell, my intention is strong
with a mouthful of water, I can break through a stone
carried on a dove, I have dropped from the sky
now the ground is above and my goal is set high
reach out with a kiss from my mother
reach out just to smile at my father
straight like a wand, my magic is simple
sensing your laughter, the breeze makes me nimble
my colors displayed, I am ready to travel
on the back of a bee, all my children unravel
installed gutter screens on the entire back of the house and a little bit around the sides and downspouts.
also alabama lost. not a bad day all in all.
lunch: chicken, cottage cheese
snack: uncrustable
dinner: homemade soup
missing my kidlet a little but i've gotten stuff done.
---
and then at 11pm as i was trying to go to sleep, the depression hit.
the realization of how little i've accomplished since she left.
it's almost been two whole years... and i've done almost nothing. stagnated.
no dating. haven't really made much of a dent in my body situation, which i still believe is the key to my happiness.
i did go to the beach and take my shirt off.
i beat a bunch of video games.
i kept the parenting boat afloat.
and yet i feel like i'm winning the battles and losing the war.
going to cry myself to sleep and wish for a drug to grant me release.
trapped in a shell, my intention is strong
with a mouthful of water, I can break through a stone
carried on a dove, I have dropped from the sky
now the ground is above and my goal is set high
reach out with a kiss from my mother
reach out just to smile at my father
straight like a wand, my magic is simple
sensing your laughter, the breeze makes me nimble
my colors displayed, I am ready to travel
on the back of a bee, all my children unravel
20121108
20121108
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
dinner: shitty salad from lenny's
later: protein shake good lord too much
the girl i liked thinks i'm a creeper, saw her this morning... oh well, another beautiful woman who thinks i'm a weirdo.
watching nfl tonight.
fml i prayed for mercy
dinner: shitty salad from lenny's
later: protein shake good lord too much
the girl i liked thinks i'm a creeper, saw her this morning... oh well, another beautiful woman who thinks i'm a weirdo.
watching nfl tonight.
fml i prayed for mercy
20121107
20121107
lunch: burger
dinner: omelet, chicken
later: a bit of halloween candy
made dinner for me and my kid, cleaned out some gutters, installed some gutter screens, went to the park, walked the dog, gave my kid a bath, played soccer in the house, etc
dinner: omelet, chicken
later: a bit of halloween candy
made dinner for me and my kid, cleaned out some gutters, installed some gutter screens, went to the park, walked the dog, gave my kid a bath, played soccer in the house, etc
20121105
20121105-2
thanksgiving planning with the ex:
ex: you can either have her Wednesday-Saturday or Thursday evening-Sunday
me: i'd like her to be with me on Thanksgiving, our family is doing something earlier in the day
ex: okay but you'll get her back on Saturday, i'm doing something that night
(an hour later)
ex: actually i'm supposed to have her on Thanksgiving, i'll keep her Thursday-Saturday
me: hah, why give me the option if you're just going to play games?
no response.
ex: you can either have her Wednesday-Saturday or Thursday evening-Sunday
me: i'd like her to be with me on Thanksgiving, our family is doing something earlier in the day
ex: okay but you'll get her back on Saturday, i'm doing something that night
(an hour later)
ex: actually i'm supposed to have her on Thanksgiving, i'll keep her Thursday-Saturday
me: hah, why give me the option if you're just going to play games?
no response.
20121105
lunch: salad
dinner: salad
later: not salad (chicken and cottage cheese)
have i forgotten so quickly indeed
the blues and greys and wants and needs
tried so hard to finish the race
running the hallways, subliminal daze
hammered it down one week at a time
what's lost to the loss of the loser's grind
a mishmash of happenstance, memories aground
i miss that freedom so dearly, that sound
of silence, as i sit here, mid-recompense
with these phrases and chords that'll never make sense
fearing what i can't understand
how to live a child a die a man
dinner: salad
later: not salad (chicken and cottage cheese)
have i forgotten so quickly indeed
the blues and greys and wants and needs
tried so hard to finish the race
running the hallways, subliminal daze
hammered it down one week at a time
what's lost to the loss of the loser's grind
a mishmash of happenstance, memories aground
i miss that freedom so dearly, that sound
of silence, as i sit here, mid-recompense
with these phrases and chords that'll never make sense
fearing what i can't understand
how to live a child a die a man
20121104
20121104
lunch: hot dog, chicken fingers
dinner: two pieces of bbq chicken pizza
later: protein shake, two pieces of sausage, cottage cheese
dinner: two pieces of bbq chicken pizza
later: protein shake, two pieces of sausage, cottage cheese
20121103
20121101
20121101
lunch: newk's favorite salad
dinner: 6oz sirloin, sweet potato, veggies
later: chicken, cottage cheese
this morning: animal show
then lunch
then a trip to the playground at the huge city park
then a walk around the lake
then dinner
then petsmart for treats and a new dog bone
then target for carmex and other random stuff
then home for books and bed and kungfu
now nfl
probably ate too much today. the plan is to get her to school in the morning, then come back and either go back to sleep, depending, or go on a long bike ride.
my head was clear all day but i feel cloudy and crappy again.
so i decided to sit on the couch and watch this masterpiece via the 360 youtube app.
dinner: 6oz sirloin, sweet potato, veggies
later: chicken, cottage cheese
this morning: animal show
then lunch
then a trip to the playground at the huge city park
then a walk around the lake
then dinner
then petsmart for treats and a new dog bone
then target for carmex and other random stuff
then home for books and bed and kungfu
now nfl
probably ate too much today. the plan is to get her to school in the morning, then come back and either go back to sleep, depending, or go on a long bike ride.
my head was clear all day but i feel cloudy and crappy again.
so i decided to sit on the couch and watch this masterpiece via the 360 youtube app.
20121029
20121029
lunch: grilled chicken salad
dinner: sweet potato, chicken
later: protein shake
feeling worn out. time to crash.
dinner: sweet potato, chicken
later: protein shake
feeling worn out. time to crash.
20121027
20121027
ran this morning. fuck its cold. mid 40s.
came back, had some lunch (soup and chicken, then a protein shake from hell).
watched my alma mater win. it's now 3:30 and i need something to do. lift, possibly?
came back, had some lunch (soup and chicken, then a protein shake from hell).
watched my alma mater win. it's now 3:30 and i need something to do. lift, possibly?
20121026
20121025
20121024
20121024
lunch: 6oz sirloin, sweet potato, veggie skewers
dinner: salmon, brussel sprouts, cauliflower
later: arctic zero ice cream
dinner: salmon, brussel sprouts, cauliflower
later: arctic zero ice cream
20121023
20121023
fuck it.
lunch: half chicken, sweet potato fries and rice
dinner: four pieces of sausage, some broth, nuts, etc
later: some cheese
kinda lowballin it tonight.
again.
fuck it.
lunch: half chicken, sweet potato fries and rice
dinner: four pieces of sausage, some broth, nuts, etc
later: some cheese
kinda lowballin it tonight.
again.
fuck it.
20121022
20121022
Fumbling around with the blogger app in bed because I can't crash (again)
Seems okay so far.
breakfast: sausage (210 cal)
lunch: Newk's favorite (700 cal)
dinner: chik n strips salad (500 cal)
later: protein shake (300 cal)
total: 1710
Deadlifted and squatted a bit. Good to be back in the saddle ..
2x
Seems okay so far.
breakfast: sausage (210 cal)
lunch: Newk's favorite (700 cal)
dinner: chik n strips salad (500 cal)
later: protein shake (300 cal)
total: 1710
Deadlifted and squatted a bit. Good to be back in the saddle ..
2x
20121021
20121021
this weekend was pretty much action packed.
saturday: final soccer game, neighborhood picnic, zoo boo.
sunday: huge bike ride, open house at school, corn maze.
i am zonked.
saturday:
lunch: newk's favorite
dinner: chicken and cottage cheese
snack: protein shake
sunday:
snack: protein bar
lunch: mcd's chicken salad
saturday: final soccer game, neighborhood picnic, zoo boo.
sunday: huge bike ride, open house at school, corn maze.
i am zonked.
saturday:
lunch: newk's favorite
dinner: chicken and cottage cheese
snack: protein shake
sunday:
snack: protein bar
lunch: mcd's chicken salad
20121019
20121019
lunch: burger, sweet potato fries, side salad
dinner: chicken, sausage, cottage cheese (sound familiar?)
later: oatmeal
feeling kinda shiitake at the moment. i probably need sleep. not even motivated to play gw2 :( i havent really played since i hit 80, maybe the fun is wearing off..
dinner: chicken, sausage, cottage cheese (sound familiar?)
later: oatmeal
feeling kinda shiitake at the moment. i probably need sleep. not even motivated to play gw2 :( i havent really played since i hit 80, maybe the fun is wearing off..
20121018
dealt with insomnia all week and it's back. this is torture. i am foggy and inefficient.
lunch: chicken patties, pickle, fruit.. yes i'm weird
dinner: chicken, a bit of cottage cheese, sausage
later: a small protein shake
a few deadlifts. a trip to the park. sent back a bike helmet. went to target.
jiro dreams of sushi is a good documentary.
ugh. at least tomorrow is friday.
lunch: chicken patties, pickle, fruit.. yes i'm weird
dinner: chicken, a bit of cottage cheese, sausage
later: a small protein shake
a few deadlifts. a trip to the park. sent back a bike helmet. went to target.
jiro dreams of sushi is a good documentary.
ugh. at least tomorrow is friday.
20121015
20121015
one step forward, two steps back. didnt run last night because of the wind. feeling fatter than ever. nothing but fucking lunch meetings all week, great more ass sitting.
lunch: half chicken, asparagus, sweet potato fries .. stuffed, as usual
lunch: half chicken, asparagus, sweet potato fries .. stuffed, as usual
20121001
20121001
a new month, and here i am.
i've backtracked up the scale again somehow, and here i am.
but i can't give up, so here i am.
breakfast: none
lunch: bunless burger, sweet potato fries
dinner: grilled chicken, cottage cheese
i've backtracked up the scale again somehow, and here i am.
but i can't give up, so here i am.
breakfast: none
lunch: bunless burger, sweet potato fries
dinner: grilled chicken, cottage cheese
20120924
20120924
so i've had a hairline skull fracture on my right side for.. months? years? i don't even know. it's hurting at the moment and i have blurry vision and my neck feels like it's full of gravel and i'm lethargic and i'm hoping for the worst.
20120915
20120914
lunch: newk's favorite salad (593 cal, 28.9g fat, 54.2g carb, 37.1g protein)
dinner: grilled chicken, carrots (300 cal, 6g fat, 3g carb, 63g protein)
later: protein snake (200 cal, 2g fat, 3g carb, 24g protein)
even later: blueberry bar (120 cal, 3g fat, 24g carb, 3g protein)
totals: 1213 cal, 40g fat, 85g carb, 127g carb
the fail is already in progress. i need to train hard on saturday.
hmm. i'm not eating near enough. that is an odd realization.
and they say you need a gram of protein per lb of body fat. i don't know if it's physically possible for me to do that.
dinner: grilled chicken, carrots (300 cal, 6g fat, 3g carb, 63g protein)
later: protein snake (200 cal, 2g fat, 3g carb, 24g protein)
even later: blueberry bar (120 cal, 3g fat, 24g carb, 3g protein)
totals: 1213 cal, 40g fat, 85g carb, 127g carb
the fail is already in progress. i need to train hard on saturday.
hmm. i'm not eating near enough. that is an odd realization.
and they say you need a gram of protein per lb of body fat. i don't know if it's physically possible for me to do that.
20120908
20120908
look who lost interest in blogging again. fuck.
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+121 pts)
245 lb x 5 reps (+138 pts)
245 lb x 5 reps (+138 pts)
245 lb x 5 reps (+138 pts)
245 lb x 5 reps (+138 pts)
245 lb x 5 reps (+138 pts)
245 lb x 5 reps (+138 pts)
245 lb x 5 reps (+138 pts)
I - the storm I ride
Barbell Shrug:
135 lb x 10 reps (+29 pts)
225 lb x 10 reps (+53 pts)
225 lb x 10 reps (+53 pts)
225 lb x 10 reps (+53 pts)
315 lb x 5 reps (+83 pts)
315 lb x 5 reps (+83 pts)
315 lb x 5 reps (+83 pts)
black sabbath - sabotage
Seated Cable Row:
120 lb x 10 reps (+37 pts)
120 lb x 10 reps (+37 pts)
120 lb x 10 reps (+37 pts)
Video Game Dancing:
1:20:00 || Moderate (+257 pts)
dance central 2 with kiddo
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+121 pts)
245 lb x 5 reps (+138 pts)
245 lb x 5 reps (+138 pts)
245 lb x 5 reps (+138 pts)
245 lb x 5 reps (+138 pts)
245 lb x 5 reps (+138 pts)
245 lb x 5 reps (+138 pts)
245 lb x 5 reps (+138 pts)
I - the storm I ride
Barbell Shrug:
135 lb x 10 reps (+29 pts)
225 lb x 10 reps (+53 pts)
225 lb x 10 reps (+53 pts)
225 lb x 10 reps (+53 pts)
315 lb x 5 reps (+83 pts)
315 lb x 5 reps (+83 pts)
315 lb x 5 reps (+83 pts)
black sabbath - sabotage
Seated Cable Row:
120 lb x 10 reps (+37 pts)
120 lb x 10 reps (+37 pts)
120 lb x 10 reps (+37 pts)
Video Game Dancing:
1:20:00 || Moderate (+257 pts)
dance central 2 with kiddo
20120904
20120904
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+121 pts)
295 lb x 5 reps (+194 pts)
295 lb x 5 reps (+194 pts)
295 lb x 5 reps (+194 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+155 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+155 pts)
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+105 pts)
225 lb x 2 reps (+82 pts)
225 lb x 2 reps (+82 pts)
225 lb x 2 reps (+82 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+105 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+105 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
Cycling:
0:40:00 || 5 mi (+61 pts)
evening ride with kiddo
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+121 pts)
295 lb x 5 reps (+194 pts)
295 lb x 5 reps (+194 pts)
295 lb x 5 reps (+194 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+155 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+155 pts)
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+105 pts)
225 lb x 2 reps (+82 pts)
225 lb x 2 reps (+82 pts)
225 lb x 2 reps (+82 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+105 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+105 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
Cycling:
0:40:00 || 5 mi (+61 pts)
evening ride with kiddo
20120902
20120902
so i spent my morning walk trying to foment in my own mind why i am the way i am. since it's a political season, let's start off with that.
almost every friend of mine leans to the left. i'll leave trying to figure out their justification for that stance for another time. for now, i'm going to stick to explaining my beliefs to myself (and whoever gives a shit enough to read on, i guess)
some personal tenets:
1) a gradual erosion of our values and morals is the primary contributing factor to our downfall as a country.
2) american morals are inexorably linked to religion, which creates an inherent challenge in moving forward.
3) redistribution of wealth, an additional contributing factor, creates a co-dependency that belies government's true intention.
4) selflessness, paired with an individualist nature, once commonplace, has become a rarity.
so let's begin. our children are bombarded with messages each day, from the media, through us as parents, at school via teachers, which reinforce an attitude of selfishness and self-serving nature. american children do not know true poverty. taken at face value, this is a positive: unfortunately, they are not taught to appreciate their circumstances, nor to value the loss which can invariably occur in life.
in the past, religion has glued our nation together. i'm not stating this as a positive fact necessarily, but it is a fact. our forefathers came here, killed the previous inhabitants and established this country in order to have the freedom to practice religion.. not to abnegate it. other cultures around the world received their "right and wrong" elsewhere; but we are not japan, nor will we ever be. america is poised to descend into a polarized squabble because the stasis of religion leaves no room for debate or -- no pun intended -- evolution: either you believe or you do not. where do godless americans receive their morals and values from? i would submit that, by and large, their upbringing and this culture does not and cannot take them into account: they are raised playing amoral video games and enjoying amoral entertainment and desensitized to the point where "anything goes". promiscuity and violence become a natural outlet of an upbringing exposed to their adulation. do i have the answer? no. do i believe the relativists have it figured out? hell no.
on the fiscal front, many believe in "paying their fair share" to support our american infrastructure. this mindset misinterprets and sullies the american dream. the point of being american is to be an individual who achieves a great deal and gives back. taxes are not now and have never been altruistic. when you are taxed, you may look at the number on your return and feel better about yourself (comrade), but you haven't given anyone anything and you aren't entitled to satisfaction. your government has taken from you, which is an entirely different notion. there is no personal oversight on the money that's been taken from you: you have no idea where those hundreds or thousands or tens of thousands are going, nor do you have any control. this markedly un-american concept has become the new norm: instead of giving, we prefer to have it taken away from us. and as soon as that shift in thought occurred, we gave our freedom away (and barring another revolution we'll never get it back). this is one reason i consider myself a "right winger": i don't want the government stealing from me. i would promote and endorse a return to a nation where one might give the same amount or more, but freely of oneself. if you're laughing at that sentiment, you have brushed the surface of the grim, cynical reality of the american machine we find ourselves in today.
and lastly, our freedom has extended past responsibility. we are free from everything, including morals (fed by religion), which unfortunately means we're free from nothing. we outsource our entire country out of greed until where we are no longer self-sustaining: we have become subservient to our servants around the globe. and if you think that is a sustainable future, you might want to pick up a history book.
almost every friend of mine leans to the left. i'll leave trying to figure out their justification for that stance for another time. for now, i'm going to stick to explaining my beliefs to myself (and whoever gives a shit enough to read on, i guess)
some personal tenets:
1) a gradual erosion of our values and morals is the primary contributing factor to our downfall as a country.
2) american morals are inexorably linked to religion, which creates an inherent challenge in moving forward.
3) redistribution of wealth, an additional contributing factor, creates a co-dependency that belies government's true intention.
4) selflessness, paired with an individualist nature, once commonplace, has become a rarity.
so let's begin. our children are bombarded with messages each day, from the media, through us as parents, at school via teachers, which reinforce an attitude of selfishness and self-serving nature. american children do not know true poverty. taken at face value, this is a positive: unfortunately, they are not taught to appreciate their circumstances, nor to value the loss which can invariably occur in life.
in the past, religion has glued our nation together. i'm not stating this as a positive fact necessarily, but it is a fact. our forefathers came here, killed the previous inhabitants and established this country in order to have the freedom to practice religion.. not to abnegate it. other cultures around the world received their "right and wrong" elsewhere; but we are not japan, nor will we ever be. america is poised to descend into a polarized squabble because the stasis of religion leaves no room for debate or -- no pun intended -- evolution: either you believe or you do not. where do godless americans receive their morals and values from? i would submit that, by and large, their upbringing and this culture does not and cannot take them into account: they are raised playing amoral video games and enjoying amoral entertainment and desensitized to the point where "anything goes". promiscuity and violence become a natural outlet of an upbringing exposed to their adulation. do i have the answer? no. do i believe the relativists have it figured out? hell no.
on the fiscal front, many believe in "paying their fair share" to support our american infrastructure. this mindset misinterprets and sullies the american dream. the point of being american is to be an individual who achieves a great deal and gives back. taxes are not now and have never been altruistic. when you are taxed, you may look at the number on your return and feel better about yourself (comrade), but you haven't given anyone anything and you aren't entitled to satisfaction. your government has taken from you, which is an entirely different notion. there is no personal oversight on the money that's been taken from you: you have no idea where those hundreds or thousands or tens of thousands are going, nor do you have any control. this markedly un-american concept has become the new norm: instead of giving, we prefer to have it taken away from us. and as soon as that shift in thought occurred, we gave our freedom away (and barring another revolution we'll never get it back). this is one reason i consider myself a "right winger": i don't want the government stealing from me. i would promote and endorse a return to a nation where one might give the same amount or more, but freely of oneself. if you're laughing at that sentiment, you have brushed the surface of the grim, cynical reality of the american machine we find ourselves in today.
and lastly, our freedom has extended past responsibility. we are free from everything, including morals (fed by religion), which unfortunately means we're free from nothing. we outsource our entire country out of greed until where we are no longer self-sustaining: we have become subservient to our servants around the globe. and if you think that is a sustainable future, you might want to pick up a history book.
20120901
20120901
woke up. got out of bed. dragged a comb across my head.
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+121 pts)
245 lb x 5 reps (+138 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+119 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+119 pts)
255 lb x 1 reps (+81 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
back is acting up a bit today
Standing Barbell Shoulder Press:
45 lb x 10 reps (+58 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
false grip
Bent Over Barbell Row:
135 lb x 5 reps (+37 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+37 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+37 pts)
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+105 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+105 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+105 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
all kinds of gains
and while i did that, i made some chili in the crockpot.
and then i pussied out on my friend's party, although i had shit to do.
like mow the front yard.
and throw away more of bitchface's leftovers.
and clean out a closet. or three.
now i'm showered for the third time and (mostly) dust-free.
my alma mater won tonight. pissed because the game was blacked out but pleased we won.
all in all, today was a good day. and that is all one can hope for.
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+121 pts)
245 lb x 5 reps (+138 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+119 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+119 pts)
255 lb x 1 reps (+81 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
back is acting up a bit today
Standing Barbell Shoulder Press:
45 lb x 10 reps (+58 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
false grip
Bent Over Barbell Row:
135 lb x 5 reps (+37 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+37 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+37 pts)
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+105 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+105 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+105 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
all kinds of gains
and while i did that, i made some chili in the crockpot.
and then i pussied out on my friend's party, although i had shit to do.
like mow the front yard.
and throw away more of bitchface's leftovers.
and clean out a closet. or three.
now i'm showered for the third time and (mostly) dust-free.
my alma mater won tonight. pissed because the game was blacked out but pleased we won.
all in all, today was a good day. and that is all one can hope for.
20120829
20120829
ran three miles while kiddo practiced soccer. feeling like butt at the moment. it was pretty hot out there, i guess i shouldn't have pushed for another mile.... but i enjoyed avoiding the other parents. going to keep up the exercise shit until i die or get laid whichever comes first.
20120828
20120828
a counterpoint asserts itself with a left turn into mediocrity
brought over in totem, the sum total of a revoked will
wrought and wringed in the twisted underbelly of nervous energy
frenetic and oscillating, ineffectual and clinging to efficacy
every word, every sentiment providing an impetus for the downturn
an economy of stimuli, unabashed in support of a new deity
no one is at fault because everyone involved is at fault
noble enough in deed, but with such a terrible consequence
freedom is short lived and the journey best left unaccompanied
so here i am: alone, cracked, defiant, heartbroken, rudderless
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+121 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+121 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+155 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+155 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+155 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+155 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+155 pts)
315 lb x 1 reps (+121 pts)
Wide-Grip Lat Pulldown:
120 lb x 10 reps (+35 pts)
120 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
120 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
120 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
Bent Over Barbell Row:
135 lb x 5 reps (+37 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+37 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+37 pts)
Standing One-Arm Dumbbell Shoulder Press:
45 lb x 5 reps (+81 pts)
45 lb x 5 reps (+81 pts)
45 lb x 5 reps (+81 pts)
45 lb x 5 reps (+81 pts)
45 lb x 5 reps (+81 pts)
javelin bb presses (5 ea side)
brought over in totem, the sum total of a revoked will
wrought and wringed in the twisted underbelly of nervous energy
frenetic and oscillating, ineffectual and clinging to efficacy
every word, every sentiment providing an impetus for the downturn
an economy of stimuli, unabashed in support of a new deity
no one is at fault because everyone involved is at fault
noble enough in deed, but with such a terrible consequence
freedom is short lived and the journey best left unaccompanied
so here i am: alone, cracked, defiant, heartbroken, rudderless
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+121 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+121 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+155 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+155 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+155 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+155 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+155 pts)
315 lb x 1 reps (+121 pts)
Wide-Grip Lat Pulldown:
120 lb x 10 reps (+35 pts)
120 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
120 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
120 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
Bent Over Barbell Row:
135 lb x 5 reps (+37 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+37 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+37 pts)
Standing One-Arm Dumbbell Shoulder Press:
45 lb x 5 reps (+81 pts)
45 lb x 5 reps (+81 pts)
45 lb x 5 reps (+81 pts)
45 lb x 5 reps (+81 pts)
45 lb x 5 reps (+81 pts)
javelin bb presses (5 ea side)
20120827
20120827
time to get back to it.
i'm going to be doing some offhand writing when the mood strikes me.
purposeful braindumps designed to fester and spew the thought processes with the intent of fomenting and reigniting the creative process.
at best, another few songs will come of it.
at worst, you'll have some more disjointed blogging to distract from reality.
i'm going to be doing some offhand writing when the mood strikes me.
purposeful braindumps designed to fester and spew the thought processes with the intent of fomenting and reigniting the creative process.
at best, another few songs will come of it.
at worst, you'll have some more disjointed blogging to distract from reality.
20120818
20120818
today's horoscope, yes i'm a woman:
It is impossible for you to be content with superficial answers now, and you are impatient with people who avoid looking candidly and honestly at root causes and hidden reasons for any problem
It is impossible for you to be content with superficial answers now, and you are impatient with people who avoid looking candidly and honestly at root causes and hidden reasons for any problem
20120814
20120814
from: bitchface
to: me
I don't have to consult with you about moving, particularly when it isn't out of the state. When a and I DO move somewhere farther away, you DO realize that our agreement states that we (you and I) will then split transportation duties and costs. I moved out here FOR MY JOB, not on some silly whim. I'm still out here FOR MY JOB. With regards to the maybe having to teach on Saturdays, again that would not have been a choice, but for me to have a JOB. It didn't work out that way, but I would imagine you wouldn't want me leaving m with someone during that time, right?
The reason you didn't hear from my mom (I didn't either, btw) is because she was here to take care of her sister and brother, not to see me or m. I am glad she was able to come out and see m practice...but I did tell you, a couple of times, that she was on someone else's time and schedule, and that she may or may not be able to see m. Plus, I'm sure you've noticed that you haven't really talked to her much in the last year or more--- she doesn't really like you, or like talking to you. You have failed to see your role in the dissolution of our marriage, and until you do, you and I will never see eye-to-eye. You aren't blameless, and my mother knows that. My dad knows that. You have been a dick about a lot of things, and you have decided to flex those "control muscles" about some really ridiculous things (ie, Christmas list, birthday parties- don't RSVP for parties that are during my time until I know about them!). You claim you are doing things in her interest and to protect her... and you say you aren't speaking ill of me, but that is BS. She doesn't have to hear you say anything-- it's in your attitude and your tone, and that of your family, as well. She says things to me like, "you broke your promise to God when you got divorced..." where the hell did she even get that? She is an incredibly smart child, but she gets her ideas SOMEWHERE. I am generally very careful not to say or do things in front of her that show any bias or anger towards you, but she is getting her attitude from somewhere other than our interactions.
By the way-- if you want so much time with her, try not sending her to spend the night with your mom when it's your weekend. I have told m that you need time to yourself, that you do so much for her and spend so much time with her that you need p time every so often... but I don't agree with you sending her to your mom's on your weekends. It seems, from what she tells me, that she is down there quite often, sometimes with you but often not. Church didn't seem to be a priority until the day I asked to take her with us, but yet you don't go every weekend. If you have something you really need to do or can't get out of, let me know as much in advance as you can and we can try to arrange a switch in schedule. She wants to be with you when it's your weekend.
I want her to play soccer and have something she enjoys. I don't want to keep her from it. But I didn't sign her up, and I should not be expected to mold our weekends to that schedule. That said, I will be there this weekend, and will figure something out to get her where she needs to be next time. Please forward me a copy of whatever information you have, and maybe ask the coach when a schedule will be up-- it's almost the middle of August already and no schedules have been posted.
The weekend before her birthday is my weekend. I will plan on doing something for her. I will talk to her about it in the next few weeks. Do not plan anything with your family for the weekend before.
from: me
to: bitchface
I feel so sorry for you sometimes, a. I really do. I will continue to pray for you.
to: me
I don't have to consult with you about moving, particularly when it isn't out of the state. When a and I DO move somewhere farther away, you DO realize that our agreement states that we (you and I) will then split transportation duties and costs. I moved out here FOR MY JOB, not on some silly whim. I'm still out here FOR MY JOB. With regards to the maybe having to teach on Saturdays, again that would not have been a choice, but for me to have a JOB. It didn't work out that way, but I would imagine you wouldn't want me leaving m with someone during that time, right?
The reason you didn't hear from my mom (I didn't either, btw) is because she was here to take care of her sister and brother, not to see me or m. I am glad she was able to come out and see m practice...but I did tell you, a couple of times, that she was on someone else's time and schedule, and that she may or may not be able to see m. Plus, I'm sure you've noticed that you haven't really talked to her much in the last year or more--- she doesn't really like you, or like talking to you. You have failed to see your role in the dissolution of our marriage, and until you do, you and I will never see eye-to-eye. You aren't blameless, and my mother knows that. My dad knows that. You have been a dick about a lot of things, and you have decided to flex those "control muscles" about some really ridiculous things (ie, Christmas list, birthday parties- don't RSVP for parties that are during my time until I know about them!). You claim you are doing things in her interest and to protect her... and you say you aren't speaking ill of me, but that is BS. She doesn't have to hear you say anything-- it's in your attitude and your tone, and that of your family, as well. She says things to me like, "you broke your promise to God when you got divorced..." where the hell did she even get that? She is an incredibly smart child, but she gets her ideas SOMEWHERE. I am generally very careful not to say or do things in front of her that show any bias or anger towards you, but she is getting her attitude from somewhere other than our interactions.
By the way-- if you want so much time with her, try not sending her to spend the night with your mom when it's your weekend. I have told m that you need time to yourself, that you do so much for her and spend so much time with her that you need p time every so often... but I don't agree with you sending her to your mom's on your weekends. It seems, from what she tells me, that she is down there quite often, sometimes with you but often not. Church didn't seem to be a priority until the day I asked to take her with us, but yet you don't go every weekend. If you have something you really need to do or can't get out of, let me know as much in advance as you can and we can try to arrange a switch in schedule. She wants to be with you when it's your weekend.
I want her to play soccer and have something she enjoys. I don't want to keep her from it. But I didn't sign her up, and I should not be expected to mold our weekends to that schedule. That said, I will be there this weekend, and will figure something out to get her where she needs to be next time. Please forward me a copy of whatever information you have, and maybe ask the coach when a schedule will be up-- it's almost the middle of August already and no schedules have been posted.
The weekend before her birthday is my weekend. I will plan on doing something for her. I will talk to her about it in the next few weeks. Do not plan anything with your family for the weekend before.
from: me
to: bitchface
I feel so sorry for you sometimes, a. I really do. I will continue to pray for you.
20120813
20120813
i have a freaking pounding headache and i have to go to school orientation.
from: bitchface
to: me
When you *chose* to have full control of her schooling and extra curriculars, you *chose* the responsibility for transportation as well. You can't make all the decisions and just expect me to be okay with them. As far as the money you spent for her school, you have absolutely no right or justification for saying I have no responsibility. I give you money every month. The court has ruled that I give you $356 per month. The fact that you *choose* to put into an account for her future does not mean that I have no responsibility. That IS my responsibility, and while I wish I could provide more, I cannot. While I agree with that and am obviously fine with it, you don't get to throw the statement around that I DON'T have responsibility for her school.... you can choose to use some of the money in her account to pay for those things. I have no control or say-so in how that money gets spent, but you DO NOT get to act like the poor marytr about spending so much money. You want her in a private school, you want to let her do everything she wants to do... you pay for it. I appreciate the fact that she is in private school, and I want her to be able to do the things she wants, and I contribute everything I can to that cause.
You had those papers written for you, remember? It allllll benefits you. There is NOTHING in those papers about how you spend the money I give you for her. You don't get to complain about spending so much when you make the decisions about how it gets spent, especially when you *choose* to not use the money I give (but rather put it into an account). I agree with your decision about the account, and I think it will be a great thing for her in the future, but the fact of the matter is, if the money you have to spend is becoming a burden, you have that account to help cushion that burden, therefore you don't get to throw it in my face. The parenting agreement gives you complete power over all decision making regarding school, religion, extracirrucular activities, etc, and as I'm sure you know "To whom much has been given, much will be expected" Since you chose to "be given" control of all these things, you are expected to be solely responsible for them, and I'm not even asking for that. I'm asking to SHARE the responsibility. I am certain that a schedule was available before you signed m up for soccer. If you failed to inquire about the schedule, that is an oversight on your part. I cannot reasonably assume that the school would take a parent's money without being able to provide the time commitment needed. For the sake of argument, what if practice was Tuesday and Thursday night, and a parent was completely unable to commit to those times? Unreasonable assumption. You would never admit it, but in the back of my mind, I can't help but think you allowed this to intentionally try to limit my time with m even more than it already is. Maybe I'm wrong, and I hope I am, but anyone with an ounce of common sense could reasonably assume that there would be at least one practice every weekend.
I really don't understand how you claim you are not attempting to undermine my relationship with my daughter when you say that you will make sure she knows I'm the one keeping her from her soccer. I don't want to keep her from it, but I think it is unreasonable for you to suggest that I (having been "given" nothing concerning the decision making for any activities) should be "expected" to solely bear the responsibility for getting her to practice every other Saturday. This means I would make three trips to and from _hometown_ in thirty-six hours' time to take her to an hour long practice. Maybe I have been unclear. It is not about the miles on my car. It is not about the gas money. It is the fact that, as you would have it, my 96 hours a month is reduced, because lets face it, time in the car (especially for m) is less than "quality time". If she has 8 practices in a month, missing one is NOT a big deal at all. It seems as though you are looking for anything you can use to hurt our relationship even more, when all I am trying to do is help our relationship. After all, before this ordeal started, you were okay with her missing a game every now-and-then. If you are okay with her missing a game, but not okay with her missing a practice (on my weekend... I'm sure if she had something she wanted to do on YOUR weekend during soccer practice, be it a birthday party, other school activity, whatever, you would likely agree to her missing practice), maybe you are missing the overall point of the activity. She should not miss ANY games as far as I'm concerned. She should be there to play in the game, support her teammates, and build life skills regarding teamwork. Missing a game is FAR more detrimental to this goal than missing a practice. I want her to be involved in school and sports. I feel this is important for her development... but missing one time isn't going to make a difference, and you know it isn't. I just cannot understand why you are unwilling to compromise. I feel the compromise I originally offered was MORE than fair, but you absolutely refuse. Of course, you will not tell her about this part... you only want to tell her "your mother is keeping you from doing something you want to do, but your father is doing everything he can to allow you to do what you want to do." That is wrong. That is undermining.
The job I was offered this year, and took so that I could provide what I can for my daughter, make my insurance payments, and to put a roof over my head, is an hour in the opposite direction. Unfortunate, yes. But it was the only option I had. I would rather spend my time with m with HER, and not shuttling her back and forth for an hour's worth of practice. One missed practice a month is not the end of the world. Alternatively, you can pick her up in _BFE_ at 8:30 and bring her back when she's finished. You don't want to do that? Imagine how I feel! You are asking me to either cut my 96 hours a month to 48, or to drive 150 miles every other weekend to get her to practice and back, yet you cant give 50 miles once a month to match my nearly 24 hours of lost time with my daughter per month. I feel 50 miles is far less sacrifice than 24 hours, yet I am willing to do that. I'm willing to do that to insure my daughter gets to participate in an activity she is obviously very excited about. She will never hear that though. She will only hear "your mother doesn't want to take you to practice on her weekends".
You have "parental control", and more than anything, I think that's what all of this stems from -- your need for control. You do have control over extracurricular activities. I don't dispute that. But with that control comes responsibility, and you cannot have the control and shirk the responsibility. You cannot have your cake, and expect to eat it as well. And what does inviting my mother to practice have to do with anything? It doesn't, so I don't see why you even mention it (as if I didnt already know...) I am not trying to cut *her* time on soccer practice. I am trying to compromise. You cannot seem to do that, and that is unfortunate. If this is destined to be the tone for the next 11 years, I truly believe it will ultimately be detrimental for our daughter. You say "she is going to understand fully that this is your decision". That is an outright lie. That is not my decision. My decision is the compromise -- to allow her to participate in every practice, every game. It was YOUR decision to reject that compromise, and if things continue on this track, she is going to understand that fully.
---
from: me
to: bitchface
You didn't consult with me before moving out of _hometown_.
The responsibility I am talking about regarding registration has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with involvement (read: you completely missed the point and wasted 2-3 paragraphs on it). You have made it painfully clear you want nothing to do with her *except* when it is convenient for you, on *your* time. Instead of focusing on *your* time, why don't you focus on *her* time, which makes up the vast majority of her life and upbringing. And as far as m hearing "your mother this" or "your mother that", I never speak ill of you... she is more than capable of figuring all that out on her own.
I'm trying to imagine how a "consultation" would have gone. "m wants to play ______." "Will it involve Saturdays?" "(common sense) of course." "Well then, no." On so on and so forth throughout her life. I'm surprised you haven't moved further away by now anyway: have you not stated to me, your bf, family, friends, etc, that moving away is the ultimate goal?
You even told me flat out that you might be working on Saturdays this Fall, and we would might look at Saturday>Sunday visitation because of it. Why is it that when something inconveniences me, it's completely acceptable, but when something inconveniences you, it's a huge issue?
Almost every girl in her class in playing.. so much so that they may have to create a third team. And btw, it is extremely likely that Saturday practices will turn into games from Sept onward. Since you have stated it is so important she makes her games, you should have no issue getting her there.
I signed her up because she expressed interest many times in playing and I would rather have her in a structured sport than sedentary. This is an incredibly good thing for her, better than dance even, and I wasn't going to pass it up. I did not sign her up to have less time with you: that is a childish insinuation, but not altogether unsurprising. My only oversight here was being naive enough to think you'd put her above yourself for once. There was no schedule, no one even knew who was coaching until two days before the first practice. The athletic director just changed over the summer and the only word any parent received was a deadline for registration.
I mentioned your mother because I wanted you to know that I care about involvement from your side of the family. I want m to feel like she has support. I didn't hear from her all week, and was trying to reach out to her. I don't know why that's an issue for *you*.
Having me drive on your time is not any sort of compromise. You keep using this word.. I do not think it means what you think it means.
I have to get ready for orientation now.
This weekend is her first scrimmage. I hope you can make the sacrifice.
from: bitchface
to: me
When you *chose* to have full control of her schooling and extra curriculars, you *chose* the responsibility for transportation as well. You can't make all the decisions and just expect me to be okay with them. As far as the money you spent for her school, you have absolutely no right or justification for saying I have no responsibility. I give you money every month. The court has ruled that I give you $356 per month. The fact that you *choose* to put into an account for her future does not mean that I have no responsibility. That IS my responsibility, and while I wish I could provide more, I cannot. While I agree with that and am obviously fine with it, you don't get to throw the statement around that I DON'T have responsibility for her school.... you can choose to use some of the money in her account to pay for those things. I have no control or say-so in how that money gets spent, but you DO NOT get to act like the poor marytr about spending so much money. You want her in a private school, you want to let her do everything she wants to do... you pay for it. I appreciate the fact that she is in private school, and I want her to be able to do the things she wants, and I contribute everything I can to that cause.
You had those papers written for you, remember? It allllll benefits you. There is NOTHING in those papers about how you spend the money I give you for her. You don't get to complain about spending so much when you make the decisions about how it gets spent, especially when you *choose* to not use the money I give (but rather put it into an account). I agree with your decision about the account, and I think it will be a great thing for her in the future, but the fact of the matter is, if the money you have to spend is becoming a burden, you have that account to help cushion that burden, therefore you don't get to throw it in my face. The parenting agreement gives you complete power over all decision making regarding school, religion, extracirrucular activities, etc, and as I'm sure you know "To whom much has been given, much will be expected" Since you chose to "be given" control of all these things, you are expected to be solely responsible for them, and I'm not even asking for that. I'm asking to SHARE the responsibility. I am certain that a schedule was available before you signed m up for soccer. If you failed to inquire about the schedule, that is an oversight on your part. I cannot reasonably assume that the school would take a parent's money without being able to provide the time commitment needed. For the sake of argument, what if practice was Tuesday and Thursday night, and a parent was completely unable to commit to those times? Unreasonable assumption. You would never admit it, but in the back of my mind, I can't help but think you allowed this to intentionally try to limit my time with m even more than it already is. Maybe I'm wrong, and I hope I am, but anyone with an ounce of common sense could reasonably assume that there would be at least one practice every weekend.
I really don't understand how you claim you are not attempting to undermine my relationship with my daughter when you say that you will make sure she knows I'm the one keeping her from her soccer. I don't want to keep her from it, but I think it is unreasonable for you to suggest that I (having been "given" nothing concerning the decision making for any activities) should be "expected" to solely bear the responsibility for getting her to practice every other Saturday. This means I would make three trips to and from _hometown_ in thirty-six hours' time to take her to an hour long practice. Maybe I have been unclear. It is not about the miles on my car. It is not about the gas money. It is the fact that, as you would have it, my 96 hours a month is reduced, because lets face it, time in the car (especially for m) is less than "quality time". If she has 8 practices in a month, missing one is NOT a big deal at all. It seems as though you are looking for anything you can use to hurt our relationship even more, when all I am trying to do is help our relationship. After all, before this ordeal started, you were okay with her missing a game every now-and-then. If you are okay with her missing a game, but not okay with her missing a practice (on my weekend... I'm sure if she had something she wanted to do on YOUR weekend during soccer practice, be it a birthday party, other school activity, whatever, you would likely agree to her missing practice), maybe you are missing the overall point of the activity. She should not miss ANY games as far as I'm concerned. She should be there to play in the game, support her teammates, and build life skills regarding teamwork. Missing a game is FAR more detrimental to this goal than missing a practice. I want her to be involved in school and sports. I feel this is important for her development... but missing one time isn't going to make a difference, and you know it isn't. I just cannot understand why you are unwilling to compromise. I feel the compromise I originally offered was MORE than fair, but you absolutely refuse. Of course, you will not tell her about this part... you only want to tell her "your mother is keeping you from doing something you want to do, but your father is doing everything he can to allow you to do what you want to do." That is wrong. That is undermining.
The job I was offered this year, and took so that I could provide what I can for my daughter, make my insurance payments, and to put a roof over my head, is an hour in the opposite direction. Unfortunate, yes. But it was the only option I had. I would rather spend my time with m with HER, and not shuttling her back and forth for an hour's worth of practice. One missed practice a month is not the end of the world. Alternatively, you can pick her up in _BFE_ at 8:30 and bring her back when she's finished. You don't want to do that? Imagine how I feel! You are asking me to either cut my 96 hours a month to 48, or to drive 150 miles every other weekend to get her to practice and back, yet you cant give 50 miles once a month to match my nearly 24 hours of lost time with my daughter per month. I feel 50 miles is far less sacrifice than 24 hours, yet I am willing to do that. I'm willing to do that to insure my daughter gets to participate in an activity she is obviously very excited about. She will never hear that though. She will only hear "your mother doesn't want to take you to practice on her weekends".
You have "parental control", and more than anything, I think that's what all of this stems from -- your need for control. You do have control over extracurricular activities. I don't dispute that. But with that control comes responsibility, and you cannot have the control and shirk the responsibility. You cannot have your cake, and expect to eat it as well. And what does inviting my mother to practice have to do with anything? It doesn't, so I don't see why you even mention it (as if I didnt already know...) I am not trying to cut *her* time on soccer practice. I am trying to compromise. You cannot seem to do that, and that is unfortunate. If this is destined to be the tone for the next 11 years, I truly believe it will ultimately be detrimental for our daughter. You say "she is going to understand fully that this is your decision". That is an outright lie. That is not my decision. My decision is the compromise -- to allow her to participate in every practice, every game. It was YOUR decision to reject that compromise, and if things continue on this track, she is going to understand that fully.
---
from: me
to: bitchface
You didn't consult with me before moving out of _hometown_.
The responsibility I am talking about regarding registration has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with involvement (read: you completely missed the point and wasted 2-3 paragraphs on it). You have made it painfully clear you want nothing to do with her *except* when it is convenient for you, on *your* time. Instead of focusing on *your* time, why don't you focus on *her* time, which makes up the vast majority of her life and upbringing. And as far as m hearing "your mother this" or "your mother that", I never speak ill of you... she is more than capable of figuring all that out on her own.
I'm trying to imagine how a "consultation" would have gone. "m wants to play ______." "Will it involve Saturdays?" "(common sense) of course." "Well then, no." On so on and so forth throughout her life. I'm surprised you haven't moved further away by now anyway: have you not stated to me, your bf, family, friends, etc, that moving away is the ultimate goal?
You even told me flat out that you might be working on Saturdays this Fall, and we would might look at Saturday>Sunday visitation because of it. Why is it that when something inconveniences me, it's completely acceptable, but when something inconveniences you, it's a huge issue?
Almost every girl in her class in playing.. so much so that they may have to create a third team. And btw, it is extremely likely that Saturday practices will turn into games from Sept onward. Since you have stated it is so important she makes her games, you should have no issue getting her there.
I signed her up because she expressed interest many times in playing and I would rather have her in a structured sport than sedentary. This is an incredibly good thing for her, better than dance even, and I wasn't going to pass it up. I did not sign her up to have less time with you: that is a childish insinuation, but not altogether unsurprising. My only oversight here was being naive enough to think you'd put her above yourself for once. There was no schedule, no one even knew who was coaching until two days before the first practice. The athletic director just changed over the summer and the only word any parent received was a deadline for registration.
I mentioned your mother because I wanted you to know that I care about involvement from your side of the family. I want m to feel like she has support. I didn't hear from her all week, and was trying to reach out to her. I don't know why that's an issue for *you*.
Having me drive on your time is not any sort of compromise. You keep using this word.. I do not think it means what you think it means.
I have to get ready for orientation now.
This weekend is her first scrimmage. I hope you can make the sacrifice.
20120810
20120810
got kiddo registered for school this morning.
bitchface is driving me nuts.
from: me
to: bitchface
Here's a link to the shoes from Amazon. These are the same shoes I bought for her last year:
...
I believe she could use 3W this time around. They're $24.75. Since I'm an Amazon Prime member I get free two-day shipping, so unless you can find a better deal, I'll just get them before next Thursday.
I don't have a game schedule for her soccer, but her practice schedule will be _.
She wants to do Girl Scouts as well, so the current extra-curricular list is _. No Karate this year.. I think that's enough.
I'll be registering her at 10AM today.
---
from: bitchface
to: me
Thanks for the link. I will order these as soon as I can... I have Amazon Prime so it's not a problem. I'll just have them shipped there.
As far as soccer practice-- I'm not going to take her every time she's here, so let me know as far as this month, which one is preferable for her to be at. As soon as you hear about games, let me know. . . I keep checking the _ website but it isn't there yet (way to go, guys!)--
Also, I'm supposed to have her Labor Day weekend as far as rotation, but we had her for Memorial Day. I was thinking regular Fri-Sun and she can be with you on that Monday if yall have something you're doing.
---
from: me
to: bitchface
She needs to be there. You need to get her to practice when you have her: if you can't, I will keep her on Friday evenings and we can exchange her after practice.
Thank you for taking care of the shoes. I don't mind taking Labor Day.
---
from: bitchface
to: me
I am putting 400 miles a week on my car as it is, and I don't recall there being a discussion between you and I before you signed her up for soccer. When the things she wants to do are going to be scheduled during my time with her, I need to be consulted beforehand. I think it is unfair to expect me to come get her on Friday, bring to _hometown_ for an hour on Saturdays when it takes an hour to get down there, then to bring her back home on Sunday.
I will compromise with you on it: one of the Saturdays before her games start, I will just come get her on Saturday and watch her practices-- I can even come pick her up in the morning before the practice, and she can stay later on Sundays. The other, I will meet you in _bfe_ and you can bring her back to me in _bfe_ afterwards. I do not want to cut my time with her in half, but you didn't consider that it is part of my weekend.
You are always telling me that you aren't trying to undermine my relationship with her, but this does that because it's cutting my time with her. My time is from Friday afternoon to Sunday.
I think this is a fair way to do it since I was not consulted about times which would directly impact her time with me.
---
from: me
to: bitchface
I didn't *know* what times soccer practice would be, but this is something she really wants to do. I have parental control over extracurricular activities, and she has done soccer before. I invited your mom and she watched her practice last night... she was invited to tomorrow morning's practice as well.
Moving to BFE was your choice. I am not coming to _bfe_. If you think cutting out *her* time on soccer practice is going to foster a stronger relationship between you and her, you can do so... but she is going to understand fully that this is your decision, and you will have to deal with the consequences. This is a chance for you to assess what's more important to you: miles on your car or your daughter. I have given you what I consider to be a good option, if you absolutely cannot make the drive.
Your daughter lives in _hometown_, she goes to school in _hometown_, and her activities are going to be in _hometown_.
I just wrote over $1k in checks today to get her all registered, and you have zero responsibility in that regard: the *least* you can do is support what she wants to do during your time with her. The ball is in your court.
bitchface is driving me nuts.
from: me
to: bitchface
Here's a link to the shoes from Amazon. These are the same shoes I bought for her last year:
...
I believe she could use 3W this time around. They're $24.75. Since I'm an Amazon Prime member I get free two-day shipping, so unless you can find a better deal, I'll just get them before next Thursday.
I don't have a game schedule for her soccer, but her practice schedule will be _.
She wants to do Girl Scouts as well, so the current extra-curricular list is _. No Karate this year.. I think that's enough.
I'll be registering her at 10AM today.
---
from: bitchface
to: me
Thanks for the link. I will order these as soon as I can... I have Amazon Prime so it's not a problem. I'll just have them shipped there.
As far as soccer practice-- I'm not going to take her every time she's here, so let me know as far as this month, which one is preferable for her to be at. As soon as you hear about games, let me know. . . I keep checking the _ website but it isn't there yet (way to go, guys!)--
Also, I'm supposed to have her Labor Day weekend as far as rotation, but we had her for Memorial Day. I was thinking regular Fri-Sun and she can be with you on that Monday if yall have something you're doing.
---
from: me
to: bitchface
She needs to be there. You need to get her to practice when you have her: if you can't, I will keep her on Friday evenings and we can exchange her after practice.
Thank you for taking care of the shoes. I don't mind taking Labor Day.
---
from: bitchface
to: me
I am putting 400 miles a week on my car as it is, and I don't recall there being a discussion between you and I before you signed her up for soccer. When the things she wants to do are going to be scheduled during my time with her, I need to be consulted beforehand. I think it is unfair to expect me to come get her on Friday, bring to _hometown_ for an hour on Saturdays when it takes an hour to get down there, then to bring her back home on Sunday.
I will compromise with you on it: one of the Saturdays before her games start, I will just come get her on Saturday and watch her practices-- I can even come pick her up in the morning before the practice, and she can stay later on Sundays. The other, I will meet you in _bfe_ and you can bring her back to me in _bfe_ afterwards. I do not want to cut my time with her in half, but you didn't consider that it is part of my weekend.
You are always telling me that you aren't trying to undermine my relationship with her, but this does that because it's cutting my time with her. My time is from Friday afternoon to Sunday.
I think this is a fair way to do it since I was not consulted about times which would directly impact her time with me.
---
from: me
to: bitchface
I didn't *know* what times soccer practice would be, but this is something she really wants to do. I have parental control over extracurricular activities, and she has done soccer before. I invited your mom and she watched her practice last night... she was invited to tomorrow morning's practice as well.
Moving to BFE was your choice. I am not coming to _bfe_. If you think cutting out *her* time on soccer practice is going to foster a stronger relationship between you and her, you can do so... but she is going to understand fully that this is your decision, and you will have to deal with the consequences. This is a chance for you to assess what's more important to you: miles on your car or your daughter. I have given you what I consider to be a good option, if you absolutely cannot make the drive.
Your daughter lives in _hometown_, she goes to school in _hometown_, and her activities are going to be in _hometown_.
I just wrote over $1k in checks today to get her all registered, and you have zero responsibility in that regard: the *least* you can do is support what she wants to do during your time with her. The ball is in your court.
20120806
20120806
insomnia. 2:30 am. this hasn't happened in.. years?
watched nasa land on the moon and the us chick fuck up her vault and all kinds of other shit and i'm still up and on irc.
watched nasa land on the moon and the us chick fuck up her vault and all kinds of other shit and i'm still up and on irc.
20120731
20120731
worst week ever? possibly.
train more anyway.
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
225 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
Front Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+75 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+75 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+75 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+75 pts)
Overhead Barbell Squat:
45 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
45 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
45 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
Wide-Grip Lat Pulldown:
120 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
120 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
120 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
120 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
120 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
train more anyway.
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
225 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
Front Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+75 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+75 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+75 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+75 pts)
Overhead Barbell Squat:
45 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
45 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
45 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
Wide-Grip Lat Pulldown:
120 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
120 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
120 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
120 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
120 lb x 5 reps (+29 pts)
20120729
20120729
lunch: newk's favorite salad
dinner: protein shake
later: chicken and bacon
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
225 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+155 pts)
315 lb x 1 reps (+121 pts)
315 lb x 1 reps (+121 pts)
315 lb x 1 reps (+121 pts)
325 lb x 1 reps (+130 pts)
335 lb x 1 reps (+139 pts)
315 lb x 1 reps (+121 pts)
315 lb x 1 reps (+121 pts)
295 lb x 1 reps (+106 pts)
295 lb x 1 reps (+106 pts)
rollins band
Barbell Shrug:
135 lb x 10 reps (+29 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+45 pts)
295 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
315 lb x 5 reps (+83 pts)
315 lb x 5 reps (+83 pts)
down - nola
Triceps Pushdown - Rope Attachment:
50 lb x 10 reps (+10 pts)
70 lb x 5 reps (+10 pts)
70 lb x 5 reps (+10 pts)
70 lb x 5 reps (+10 pts)
70 lb x 5 reps (+10 pts)
70 lb x 5 reps (+10 pts)
Cycling:
0:50:00 || 5 mi (+79 pts)
greenline ride with kiddo
dinner: protein shake
later: chicken and bacon
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
225 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+155 pts)
315 lb x 1 reps (+121 pts)
315 lb x 1 reps (+121 pts)
315 lb x 1 reps (+121 pts)
325 lb x 1 reps (+130 pts)
335 lb x 1 reps (+139 pts)
315 lb x 1 reps (+121 pts)
315 lb x 1 reps (+121 pts)
295 lb x 1 reps (+106 pts)
295 lb x 1 reps (+106 pts)
rollins band
Barbell Shrug:
135 lb x 10 reps (+29 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+45 pts)
295 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
315 lb x 5 reps (+83 pts)
315 lb x 5 reps (+83 pts)
down - nola
Triceps Pushdown - Rope Attachment:
50 lb x 10 reps (+10 pts)
70 lb x 5 reps (+10 pts)
70 lb x 5 reps (+10 pts)
70 lb x 5 reps (+10 pts)
70 lb x 5 reps (+10 pts)
70 lb x 5 reps (+10 pts)
Cycling:
0:50:00 || 5 mi (+79 pts)
greenline ride with kiddo
20120726
20120726
thursday morning, ain't comin round for a week
thursday, and i ain't gonna sleep a wink
parked at labyrinthian. good times.
lunch: steakhouse burger (no bun) and side salad, the chick at the bar talked to me again
dinner: newk's ultimate salad omfg i'm stuffed
so many distractions today, it was horrible.
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+121 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
275 lb x 3 reps (+136 pts)
295 lb x 1 reps (+106 pts)
315 lb x 1 reps (+121 pts)
315 lb x 1 reps (+121 pts)
Romanian Deadlift:
135 lb x 5 reps (+52 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+59 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+66 pts)
225 lb x 3 reps (+76 pts)
225 lb x 3 reps (+76 pts)
225 lb x 3 reps (+76 pts)
Seated Cable Row:
140 lb x 5 reps (+36 pts)
140 lb x 5 reps (+36 pts)
140 lb x 5 reps (+36 pts)
140 lb x 5 reps (+36 pts)
140 lb x 5 reps (+36 pts)
Video Game Dancing:
0:20:00 || Moderate (+64 pts)
got creamed by my kid in dance central 2
thursday, and i ain't gonna sleep a wink
parked at labyrinthian. good times.
lunch: steakhouse burger (no bun) and side salad, the chick at the bar talked to me again
dinner: newk's ultimate salad omfg i'm stuffed
so many distractions today, it was horrible.
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+121 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+111 pts)
275 lb x 3 reps (+136 pts)
295 lb x 1 reps (+106 pts)
315 lb x 1 reps (+121 pts)
315 lb x 1 reps (+121 pts)
Romanian Deadlift:
135 lb x 5 reps (+52 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+59 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+66 pts)
225 lb x 3 reps (+76 pts)
225 lb x 3 reps (+76 pts)
225 lb x 3 reps (+76 pts)
Seated Cable Row:
140 lb x 5 reps (+36 pts)
140 lb x 5 reps (+36 pts)
140 lb x 5 reps (+36 pts)
140 lb x 5 reps (+36 pts)
140 lb x 5 reps (+36 pts)
Video Game Dancing:
0:20:00 || Moderate (+64 pts)
got creamed by my kid in dance central 2
20120724
20120724
lunch: chicken
dinner: oatmeal, protein shake
middle of the night: cheerios
no workout today, kiddo was on me like white on rice to play. so we did.
crashed out early. don't even know when.
dinner: oatmeal, protein shake
middle of the night: cheerios
no workout today, kiddo was on me like white on rice to play. so we did.
crashed out early. don't even know when.
20120722
20120722
i just realized i stopped writing poetry at some point. not sure if that's bad or good. what do you think, readers?
lunch: protein shake, and then chicken post-workout
dinner: umm oatmeal?
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
225 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
275 lb x 3 reps (+119 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+136 pts)
305 lb x 3 reps (+145 pts)
315 lb x 3 reps (+156 pts)
315 lb x 1 reps (+106 pts)
305 lb x 1 reps (+99 pts)
305 lb x 1 reps (+99 pts)
295 lb x 1 reps (+93 pts)
295 lb x 1 reps (+93 pts)
295 lb x 1 reps (+93 pts)
275 lb x 1 reps (+81 pts)
225 lb x 1 reps (+58 pts)
135 lb x 1 reps (+31 pts)
Push-Up:
20 reps (+30 pts)
20 reps (+30 pts)
20 reps (+30 pts)
Chin-Up:
3 reps (+17 pts)
3 reps (+17 pts)
kiddo returned to me at about 4:30 today. we just chilled, but it is really nice to have her back at home. i had a good week of "freedom" but now it's time to batten down the hatches and prepare for the homestretch of summer... i sat and thanked whatever deity is listening for having her back, while she fell asleep on me. i didn't ask for a single thing, because i don't need anything.
...
although a drop in temperatures would be really nice for the earth. just sayin.
lunch: protein shake, and then chicken post-workout
dinner: umm oatmeal?
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
225 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
275 lb x 3 reps (+119 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+136 pts)
305 lb x 3 reps (+145 pts)
315 lb x 3 reps (+156 pts)
315 lb x 1 reps (+106 pts)
305 lb x 1 reps (+99 pts)
305 lb x 1 reps (+99 pts)
295 lb x 1 reps (+93 pts)
295 lb x 1 reps (+93 pts)
295 lb x 1 reps (+93 pts)
275 lb x 1 reps (+81 pts)
225 lb x 1 reps (+58 pts)
135 lb x 1 reps (+31 pts)
Push-Up:
20 reps (+30 pts)
20 reps (+30 pts)
20 reps (+30 pts)
Chin-Up:
3 reps (+17 pts)
3 reps (+17 pts)
kiddo returned to me at about 4:30 today. we just chilled, but it is really nice to have her back at home. i had a good week of "freedom" but now it's time to batten down the hatches and prepare for the homestretch of summer... i sat and thanked whatever deity is listening for having her back, while she fell asleep on me. i didn't ask for a single thing, because i don't need anything.
...
although a drop in temperatures would be really nice for the earth. just sayin.
20120721
20120721
the usual pre-m return chores... lessee
woke up, let dog out, got the laundry and dishes started, went to lowe's to pick up a few things. went to kroger's to pick up more than a few things. back home to start some chili in the crockpot. xbox'ing my life away, couldn't be happier.
no workout today i don't think my legs will allow it. maybe something upper body. edit: nope, guess not.
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
dinner: too much chili
later: too much oatmeal
started playing skyrim again as a caster. anything to pull me away from resubscribing to WoW i guess ;)
my former father-in-law butt dialed me around 35 times tonight. i ended up tossing the phone on my bed and he just left 2 minute messages from his pocket for the duration of the night. he did it three more times Sunday morning. speechless.
woke up, let dog out, got the laundry and dishes started, went to lowe's to pick up a few things. went to kroger's to pick up more than a few things. back home to start some chili in the crockpot. xbox'ing my life away, couldn't be happier.
no workout today i don't think my legs will allow it. maybe something upper body. edit: nope, guess not.
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
dinner: too much chili
later: too much oatmeal
started playing skyrim again as a caster. anything to pull me away from resubscribing to WoW i guess ;)
my former father-in-law butt dialed me around 35 times tonight. i ended up tossing the phone on my bed and he just left 2 minute messages from his pocket for the duration of the night. he did it three more times Sunday morning. speechless.
20120720
20120720
lunch: fried chicken salad (damn good)
also: protein bar
dinner: six eggs and six bacons
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+74 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+74 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+74 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 1 reps (+71 pts)
Dumbbell Bench Press:
40 lb x 20 reps (+77 pts)
40 lb x 20 reps (+77 pts)
40 lb x 20 reps (+77 pts)
Running:
0:21:35 || 2.2 mi (+220 pts)
also: protein bar
dinner: six eggs and six bacons
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+74 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+74 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+74 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 1 reps (+71 pts)
Dumbbell Bench Press:
40 lb x 20 reps (+77 pts)
40 lb x 20 reps (+77 pts)
40 lb x 20 reps (+77 pts)
Running:
0:21:35 || 2.2 mi (+220 pts)
20120719
20120719
seemed like i was up every two hours, but only long enough to shuffle into the kitchen and back to bed. it was weird. i feel pretty rested though thankfully.. still no morning run. perhaps i just don't have it in me this week.
meetings all freaking day again.
lunch: half chicken, zucchini, asparagus
and again they want me to run the entire state. argh.
dinner: sirloin and sweet potato
lots of energy tonight.. put it to good use!
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
Standing Barbell Shoulder Press:
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
115 lb x 5 reps (+79 pts)
115 lb x 5 reps (+79 pts)
115 lb x 3 reps (+63 pts)
125 lb x 1 reps (+46 pts)
Plank:
60 sec (+21 pts)
60 sec (+21 pts)
60 sec (+21 pts)
Triceps Pushdown - Rope Attachment:
50 lb x 10 reps (+10 pts)
50 lb x 10 reps (+10 pts)
50 lb x 10 reps (+10 pts)
meetings all freaking day again.
lunch: half chicken, zucchini, asparagus
and again they want me to run the entire state. argh.
dinner: sirloin and sweet potato
lots of energy tonight.. put it to good use!
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
Standing Barbell Shoulder Press:
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
115 lb x 5 reps (+79 pts)
115 lb x 5 reps (+79 pts)
115 lb x 3 reps (+63 pts)
125 lb x 1 reps (+46 pts)
Plank:
60 sec (+21 pts)
60 sec (+21 pts)
60 sec (+21 pts)
Triceps Pushdown - Rope Attachment:
50 lb x 10 reps (+10 pts)
50 lb x 10 reps (+10 pts)
50 lb x 10 reps (+10 pts)
20120718
20120718
lunch: grilled chicken salad. again, i wanted a fried chicken salad. this time, the waitress misheard me.
dinner: scrambled eggs (6), and protein shake
later: protein bar (argh!)
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
225 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
7x5x225 squats, 10x3x245 squats in the evening... feeling great, no knee issues
dinner: scrambled eggs (6), and protein shake
later: protein bar (argh!)
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
225 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
245 lb x 3 reps (+97 pts)
7x5x225 squats, 10x3x245 squats in the evening... feeling great, no knee issues
20120717
20120717
too many meetings.. too many morons.
lunch: desperado omelet
dinner: chicken and cottage cheese
lifting tonight after reading (read: procrastinating)
squatticus rex. cycling through smolov at the moment. i'm not sure why, i guess just to try something different and have a plan. i am stuck at 220 and it saddens me. so much potential, so much failure, and always at this point. if i eat wrong just once or twice i'll be 230. that's just the way my worthless misdesigned body handles food.
lunch: desperado omelet
dinner: chicken and cottage cheese
lifting tonight after reading (read: procrastinating)
squatticus rex. cycling through smolov at the moment. i'm not sure why, i guess just to try something different and have a plan. i am stuck at 220 and it saddens me. so much potential, so much failure, and always at this point. if i eat wrong just once or twice i'll be 230. that's just the way my worthless misdesigned body handles food.
20120716
20120716
slept so very poorly. and a fucked up nightmare to boot.
i'm now at work a little after 8 and no one else is around. we're supposed to move to a new office today. hmmm.
LOTS OF MOVING LATER.. sore back.
lunch: grilled chicken salad (i asked for fried and the waitress said they were out..)
dinner: protein shake and chicken soup
warning: graphic
someone i know very closely, not sure who, opened the backdoor of a car for me, i sat down, and then they proceeded to shoot me repeatedly in the back of the head. rather than dying immediately, my face simply started to slide off (with a very, very fucked up visual), and whoever they are, they reached in the car and kissed my forehead before letting go, with my eyes trying to look back at them.
i'm now at work a little after 8 and no one else is around. we're supposed to move to a new office today. hmmm.
LOTS OF MOVING LATER.. sore back.
lunch: grilled chicken salad (i asked for fried and the waitress said they were out..)
dinner: protein shake and chicken soup
20120715
20120715
kiddo is gone to florida. bitchface isn't going down there with her (although she managed to go down there with her boyfriend three weeks prior). honestly, the absence of her mom will likely make for a much more relaxing and rewarding vacation.
it was 100 miles south to drop her off, and it rained sheets for most of that drive, but our last two hours together was pretty good. singing beatles to get through the rain jitters and pep talking her up about the vacation.
today was a day for me. i guess. the usual suspects. church. mowed the front yard in a tank top... it was absolutely sweltering. did some lifting on and off all day, in between my chicken crockpotting and watching crossfit on the espn xbox app.
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 15 reps (+72 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
275 lb x 5 reps (+148 pts)
275 lb x 5 reps (+148 pts)
275 lb x 5 reps (+148 pts)
275 lb x 5 reps (+148 pts)
275 lb x 5 reps (+148 pts)
Seated Cable Row:
100 lb x 10 reps (+33 pts)
120 lb x 10 reps (+37 pts)
120 lb x 10 reps (+37 pts)
120 lb x 10 reps (+37 pts)
Standing Barbell Shoulder Press:
95 lb x 10 reps (+81 pts)
95 lb x 10 reps (+81 pts)
95 lb x 10 reps (+81 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
Snatch:
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
supposedly, i'm moving offices tomorrow. not sure how i feel about that prospect. i quite liked my little hole on the third floor.
lunch: newk's favorite salad
dinner: protein shake
...
and eventually, some chicken soup.
it was 100 miles south to drop her off, and it rained sheets for most of that drive, but our last two hours together was pretty good. singing beatles to get through the rain jitters and pep talking her up about the vacation.
today was a day for me. i guess. the usual suspects. church. mowed the front yard in a tank top... it was absolutely sweltering. did some lifting on and off all day, in between my chicken crockpotting and watching crossfit on the espn xbox app.
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 15 reps (+72 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
275 lb x 5 reps (+148 pts)
275 lb x 5 reps (+148 pts)
275 lb x 5 reps (+148 pts)
275 lb x 5 reps (+148 pts)
275 lb x 5 reps (+148 pts)
Seated Cable Row:
100 lb x 10 reps (+33 pts)
120 lb x 10 reps (+37 pts)
120 lb x 10 reps (+37 pts)
120 lb x 10 reps (+37 pts)
Standing Barbell Shoulder Press:
95 lb x 10 reps (+81 pts)
95 lb x 10 reps (+81 pts)
95 lb x 10 reps (+81 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
Snatch:
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
supposedly, i'm moving offices tomorrow. not sure how i feel about that prospect. i quite liked my little hole on the third floor.
lunch: newk's favorite salad
dinner: protein shake
...
and eventually, some chicken soup.
20120712
20120712
holy shit i kinda skipped dinner.. it was the protein shake's fault. maybe that was dinner, i dunno.. fuckit.
again i crashed hardcore with kiddo after reading books.. waaayyyy too much sleep this week, that's never a good sign (right?)
lunch: grilled chicken salad
dinner: protein shake?
midnight snack: baby cereal with pb
Cycling:
0:50:00 || 5 mi (+79 pts)
afternoon bike ride with kiddo
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
215 lb x 7 reps (+109 pts)
215 lb x 7 reps (+109 pts)
215 lb x 7 reps (+109 pts)
215 lb x 8 reps (+112 pts)
215 lb x 8 reps (+112 pts)
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
Wide-Grip Lat Pulldown:
70 lb x 10 reps (+25 pts)
90 lb x 10 reps (+28 pts)
100 lb x 10 reps (+30 pts)
100 lb x 10 reps (+30 pts)
again i crashed hardcore with kiddo after reading books.. waaayyyy too much sleep this week, that's never a good sign (right?)
lunch: grilled chicken salad
dinner: protein shake?
midnight snack: baby cereal with pb
Cycling:
0:50:00 || 5 mi (+79 pts)
afternoon bike ride with kiddo
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
215 lb x 7 reps (+109 pts)
215 lb x 7 reps (+109 pts)
215 lb x 7 reps (+109 pts)
215 lb x 8 reps (+112 pts)
215 lb x 8 reps (+112 pts)
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
Wide-Grip Lat Pulldown:
70 lb x 10 reps (+25 pts)
90 lb x 10 reps (+28 pts)
100 lb x 10 reps (+30 pts)
100 lb x 10 reps (+30 pts)
20120711
20120711
i have to change the name of my blog, because of that goddamn gotye song. fuck gotye. elliott smith. that is all.
lunch: fajitas from moe's
dinner: chicken and lima beans
no protein shake tonight, because no workout. kiddo wanted to ride bikes, so we did, and it was awesome. i want to ride bikes with her every chance i get this summer!!!
lunch: fajitas from moe's
dinner: chicken and lima beans
no protein shake tonight, because no workout. kiddo wanted to ride bikes, so we did, and it was awesome. i want to ride bikes with her every chance i get this summer!!!
20120710
20120710
lunch: bunless burger, salad
dinner: chicken strips salad from chik fil'a
spent almost $300 at the grocery tonight with kiddo. stocked again with all sorts of shit.
no workout, i was so tired i crashed essentially when she did, although i was up at midnight and again at 3:30. great.
dinner: chicken strips salad from chik fil'a
spent almost $300 at the grocery tonight with kiddo. stocked again with all sorts of shit.
no workout, i was so tired i crashed essentially when she did, although i was up at midnight and again at 3:30. great.
20120709
20120709
the day after driving back. an unceremonious monday.
kiddo was nervous about theatre camp.. until we got there of course. now she is set to unleash her "inner" drama queen.
breakfast: scrambled eggs
lunch: chicken
dinner: newk's
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
Chin-Up:
4 reps (+25 pts)
3 reps (+17 pts)
3 reps (+17 pts)
3 reps (+17 pts)
kiddo was nervous about theatre camp.. until we got there of course. now she is set to unleash her "inner" drama queen.
breakfast: scrambled eggs
lunch: chicken
dinner: newk's
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
205 lb x 9 reps (+107 pts)
Chin-Up:
4 reps (+25 pts)
3 reps (+17 pts)
3 reps (+17 pts)
3 reps (+17 pts)
20120708
20120708
spent the morning at the beach/pool and reading the iron druid chronicles book 1.
after lunch, we headed back towards home and got stuck on i-10 for a solid hour. bleh, i hate that fucking highway.
anyway, what's to say.. a day of driving. she had ZERO motion sickness problems. all that shit is in her head and was put there by bitchface, as usual.
lunch: nothing really, some beef jerky and mixed nuts
dinner: some form of meat at my parents house at like 8pm
after lunch, we headed back towards home and got stuck on i-10 for a solid hour. bleh, i hate that fucking highway.
anyway, what's to say.. a day of driving. she had ZERO motion sickness problems. all that shit is in her head and was put there by bitchface, as usual.
lunch: nothing really, some beef jerky and mixed nuts
dinner: some form of meat at my parents house at like 8pm
20120707
20120707
lunch: random shit around the condo
dinner: bunless burger, shrimp @ sea n suds on the beach
didn't do much really.. each night we hunted for crabs
no goals, no expectations.. NO PLANS. bitchface's idea of a vacation was nowhere to be seen, and it was glorious.
my brother and i had some deep conversations about our family, and some light hearted stuff too. he amazes me how much he's matured over the years. although he's found his faith, and i still haven't. i wish i'd had my failed relationship earlier in life like he (and many others) did, but it's too late for that.
anyway, all we did was sit there and enjoy the sun and water. i took a few pictures, but that was about it. perfection.
dinner: bunless burger, shrimp @ sea n suds on the beach
didn't do much really.. each night we hunted for crabs
no goals, no expectations.. NO PLANS. bitchface's idea of a vacation was nowhere to be seen, and it was glorious.
my brother and i had some deep conversations about our family, and some light hearted stuff too. he amazes me how much he's matured over the years. although he's found his faith, and i still haven't. i wish i'd had my failed relationship earlier in life like he (and many others) did, but it's too late for that.
anyway, all we did was sit there and enjoy the sun and water. i took a few pictures, but that was about it. perfection.
20120706
20120706
lessee.. another day in paradise ;)
lunch: "snapper", veggies @ live bait, orange beach al
dinner: steak with my brother's family
my brother and i got along pretty damned good on this trip to be honest. we got invited to go to destin next year, their normal destination (no pun intended)
he argued the guy down for our lunch bills because we got charged for catch of the day ($20) but ordered off the special menu ($6.95) so that saved us some money.. pretty funny to see him work. he's so gregarious and outgoing. he always speaks his mind, sometimes to his detriment, but has always been my definition of "cool". why i adapted /learned none of his social graces or skills i'll never know. got to keep trying i guess.
i went shirtless eventually, and was fine the rest of the trip. i need to lose a lot more weight before i truly like what i see, but i'm getting there.. slowly.
lunch: "snapper", veggies @ live bait, orange beach al
dinner: steak with my brother's family
my brother and i got along pretty damned good on this trip to be honest. we got invited to go to destin next year, their normal destination (no pun intended)
he argued the guy down for our lunch bills because we got charged for catch of the day ($20) but ordered off the special menu ($6.95) so that saved us some money.. pretty funny to see him work. he's so gregarious and outgoing. he always speaks his mind, sometimes to his detriment, but has always been my definition of "cool". why i adapted /learned none of his social graces or skills i'll never know. got to keep trying i guess.
i went shirtless eventually, and was fine the rest of the trip. i need to lose a lot more weight before i truly like what i see, but i'm getting there.. slowly.
20120705
lunch: snacks, a little arby's
dinner: steak and veggies at orange beach
416 miles complete. beach relaxation mode engage.
i have the funniest looking belly burn ever.
dinner: steak and veggies at orange beach
416 miles complete. beach relaxation mode engage.
i have the funniest looking belly burn ever.
20120704
20120703
20120703
started the day off with an early morning run.
getting all my shit together for this trip. cds done, directions ready, etc.
time to go tan i guess.
getting all my shit together for this trip. cds done, directions ready, etc.
time to go tan i guess.
20120702
20120702
this is one of the boringest work days ever
...
so bore i'm going to take time to do something i rarely do, plan:
tonight:
head to target, grab shit off list
pick up food
head home, eat food, lift a shitload of weight, deadlifts i think mainly
skyrim
tuesday:
air up tires
tan at lunchtime
pack up tuesday night i guess
that's pretty much it so far, heh
...
so bore i'm going to take time to do something i rarely do, plan:
tonight:
head to target, grab shit off list
pick up food
head home, eat food, lift a shitload of weight, deadlifts i think mainly
skyrim
tuesday:
air up tires
tan at lunchtime
pack up tuesday night i guess
that's pretty much it so far, heh
20120701
20120701
lunch: four egg omelet
dinner: protein shake
later: can of chicken
woke up, weed eated, went to church, parents picked up kiddo afterwards.
i didn't do jack shit after that. :(
calorie deficit today.
current list of shit to get:
bucket and shovel
sunscreen (30 spf)
beach ball
towel for me
traveling snacks.. as in, not snacks able to move on their own, but snacks suited for traveling
dinner: protein shake
later: can of chicken
woke up, weed eated, went to church, parents picked up kiddo afterwards.
i didn't do jack shit after that. :(
calorie deficit today.
current list of shit to get:
bucket and shovel
sunscreen (30 spf)
beach ball
towel for me
traveling snacks.. as in, not snacks able to move on their own, but snacks suited for traveling
20120630
20120630
two miles this morning, followed by more cleaning. getting kiddo back at around 5.
tanned for 30 min total without sunscreen. i'm a morans.
time to lift again and then read. or if the lifting doesn't pan out, i guess i'll go straight to reading and not collect $200.
breakfast: oatmeal
lunch: homemade chicken soup
dinner:
tanned for 30 min total without sunscreen. i'm a morans.
time to lift again and then read. or if the lifting doesn't pan out, i guess i'll go straight to reading and not collect $200.
breakfast: oatmeal
lunch: homemade chicken soup
dinner:
20120629
20120629
lunch: chicken, cottage cheese, protein shake
dinner: newk's favorite salad
later: oatmeal
HOT. kiddo went with bitchface today, i get her back tomorrow.
i am in love with shoulder presses. thumbless grip has increased my overhead power a bunch.
watched logan's run and some of beatles anthology (it's nine discs, sooo). read some of franco columbu's book. fantastic stuff.
dinner: newk's favorite salad
later: oatmeal
HOT. kiddo went with bitchface today, i get her back tomorrow.
i am in love with shoulder presses. thumbless grip has increased my overhead power a bunch.
watched logan's run and some of beatles anthology (it's nine discs, sooo). read some of franco columbu's book. fantastic stuff.
20120628
20120627
20120627
no energy for lifting. finished "ready player one" last night.
lunch: hell i dunno, chicken i guess
told fb about my album.. no response. great.
---
ex: i'm still working out playdate plans. ask her if there is anything specific she'd like to do this wkend....keeping in mind that outdoor activities are not an option with the heat index as it is.
me: i told her last night and she has told me repeatedly "i refuse to go"
ex: she is not the decision maker.
me: i'm just telling you what she said. that's why i said earlier that this weekend is probably not a good idea.
ex: the less she comes the less she's going to want to come she needs to come this weekend because i won't see her again for a month.
me: so you'd subject her to this visit against her will?
ex: she never wants to come p! why should this week be any different? if we never make her do things she doesn't want to do, she never will come.
me: i would really like to take her to church so how about Friday to Saturday
ex: if you want to come get her...
me: you're still focused on teaching her a lesson, instead of genuinely being there for her when she needs you. even after all these years, it's still all about you. how disappointing. from now on, don't do this pre-visit "what does she want to do" nonsense every time. you should know your kid well enough to have an idea what she'd like to do by this point.
me: why don't you plan an outing or a playdate this weekend and take her for a few hours, so the tension of the overnight stuff is out of the picture and she feels more comfortable with you in her own environment
ex: we switched so she could go out of town with you on her weekend with me... she can either come this weekend or next. Her choice
lunch: hell i dunno, chicken i guess
told fb about my album.. no response. great.
---
ex: i'm still working out playdate plans. ask her if there is anything specific she'd like to do this wkend....keeping in mind that outdoor activities are not an option with the heat index as it is.
me: i told her last night and she has told me repeatedly "i refuse to go"
ex: she is not the decision maker.
me: i'm just telling you what she said. that's why i said earlier that this weekend is probably not a good idea.
ex: the less she comes the less she's going to want to come she needs to come this weekend because i won't see her again for a month.
me: so you'd subject her to this visit against her will?
ex: she never wants to come p! why should this week be any different? if we never make her do things she doesn't want to do, she never will come.
me: i would really like to take her to church so how about Friday to Saturday
ex: if you want to come get her...
me: you're still focused on teaching her a lesson, instead of genuinely being there for her when she needs you. even after all these years, it's still all about you. how disappointing. from now on, don't do this pre-visit "what does she want to do" nonsense every time. you should know your kid well enough to have an idea what she'd like to do by this point.
me: why don't you plan an outing or a playdate this weekend and take her for a few hours, so the tension of the overnight stuff is out of the picture and she feels more comfortable with you in her own environment
ex: we switched so she could go out of town with you on her weekend with me... she can either come this weekend or next. Her choice
20120626
20120626
FUCK BITCHFACE. blood pressure is going nuts today.
lunch: grouper, asparagus, zucchini
dinner: bbq and cottage cheese
"thought control can never work"
that's just what they tell you to think
lunch: grouper, asparagus, zucchini
dinner: bbq and cottage cheese
"thought control can never work"
that's just what they tell you to think
20120625
20120625
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese, no proteins today, vitamins and omega 3 tho
dinner: salad, chicken, chili
she put on a dirty shirt this morning and we didn't realize until i'd dropped her off. initially i said nope deal with it i'm going into work, then halfway to work i thought better of it and got her a substitute shirt. she hugged me so tight i thought i was going to pop when i showed up at camp.
worked a half day.
took kiddo to the dentist this afternoon. no cavities, sealants completed.
fixed my brake light. i'm a morans. replaced the wrong bulb. my dad laughed hard.
christ it was hot. i considered discussing how my parents deal with the loss of their parents, which is an interesting conversation one could have with ones parents, but i did not have it. i might at some point.
she snored on the drive home. i wrote a new little guitar piece. needs words. don't they all.
dinner: salad, chicken, chili
she put on a dirty shirt this morning and we didn't realize until i'd dropped her off. initially i said nope deal with it i'm going into work, then halfway to work i thought better of it and got her a substitute shirt. she hugged me so tight i thought i was going to pop when i showed up at camp.
worked a half day.
took kiddo to the dentist this afternoon. no cavities, sealants completed.
fixed my brake light. i'm a morans. replaced the wrong bulb. my dad laughed hard.
christ it was hot. i considered discussing how my parents deal with the loss of their parents, which is an interesting conversation one could have with ones parents, but i did not have it. i might at some point.
she snored on the drive home. i wrote a new little guitar piece. needs words. don't they all.
20120624
20120624
lunch: protein shake, some chicken
dinner: a fuckton of homemade chili/soup/stew/whatever
Running:
0:20:02 || 2 mi (+188 pts)
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
185 lb x 9 reps (+93 pts)
185 lb x 9 reps (+93 pts)
185 lb x 9 reps (+93 pts)
185 lb x 9 reps (+93 pts)
deload
dinner: a fuckton of homemade chili/soup/stew/whatever
Running:
0:20:02 || 2 mi (+188 pts)
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
185 lb x 9 reps (+93 pts)
185 lb x 9 reps (+93 pts)
185 lb x 9 reps (+93 pts)
185 lb x 9 reps (+93 pts)
deload
20120623
20120623
all three albums copyrighted. fantastic.
mowed the backyard sans shirt.
lunch: a piece of chicken, and a protein shake
dinner: steak and sweet potato
mowed the backyard sans shirt.
lunch: a piece of chicken, and a protein shake
dinner: steak and sweet potato
20120622
20120621
20120620
20120619
20120619
fuck i had the wrong day entirely.
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
dinner: grilled chicken philly
talked with a real life girl today. and it went well.
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
275 lb x 5 reps (+148 pts)
275 lb x 5 reps (+148 pts)
275 lb x 5 reps (+148 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+136 pts)
305 lb x 2 reps (+123 pts)
305 lb x 1 reps (+99 pts)
Romanian Deadlift:
135 lb x 5 reps (+52 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
Standing Barbell Shoulder Press:
135 lb x 1 reps (+49 pts)
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
dinner: grilled chicken philly
talked with a real life girl today. and it went well.
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
275 lb x 5 reps (+148 pts)
275 lb x 5 reps (+148 pts)
275 lb x 5 reps (+148 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+136 pts)
305 lb x 2 reps (+123 pts)
305 lb x 1 reps (+99 pts)
Romanian Deadlift:
135 lb x 5 reps (+52 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
Standing Barbell Shoulder Press:
135 lb x 1 reps (+49 pts)
20120618
20120617
20120617
what is it about the death of my parents that scares me so much? i am obsessed with it. i mean, i just spent half a day with both of them, and it's like i want more. i want to move back home almost. perhaps it's that feeling of complete comfort. that feeling of home. this place that bitchface and i bought is nothing more than a facade of her divising for a future that never happened. i wish i could sell it.
helped my dad put a basketball goal up today.
it was hot, but kiddo and i played outside after i'd gotten my energy back.
lunch: chicken, apples & pb
dinner: bbq, baked beans, slaw
i had a brownie at mom's.
no workout.
mowed the grass first thing, then off to mass, then hung out for a bit before heading down. ended up just being my oldest brother. the oldest and the youngest. sis is in cali for a niece's college graduation, and the other two brothers had backaches.
they need to lift weights.
helped my dad put a basketball goal up today.
it was hot, but kiddo and i played outside after i'd gotten my energy back.
lunch: chicken, apples & pb
dinner: bbq, baked beans, slaw
i had a brownie at mom's.
no workout.
mowed the grass first thing, then off to mass, then hung out for a bit before heading down. ended up just being my oldest brother. the oldest and the youngest. sis is in cali for a niece's college graduation, and the other two brothers had backaches.
they need to lift weights.
20120616
20120616
umm.. i need more dreams like that first one last night
lunch: grilled chicken and broccoli
dinner: newk's ultimate salad, bleu cheese
i keep wishing at 11:11 but they never come true
another anti-social social event
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
Standing Barbell Shoulder Press:
45 lb x 10 reps (+58 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
105 lb x 5 reps (+74 pts)
105 lb x 5 reps (+74 pts)
115 lb x 5 reps (+79 pts)
Chin-Up:
5 reps (+34 pts)
5 reps (+34 pts)
Snatch:
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
lunch: grilled chicken and broccoli
dinner: newk's ultimate salad, bleu cheese
i keep wishing at 11:11 but they never come true
another anti-social social event
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
Standing Barbell Shoulder Press:
45 lb x 10 reps (+58 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
105 lb x 5 reps (+74 pts)
105 lb x 5 reps (+74 pts)
115 lb x 5 reps (+79 pts)
Chin-Up:
5 reps (+34 pts)
5 reps (+34 pts)
Snatch:
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
20120615
20120615
lunch: newk's favorite salad
dinner: a few fish sticks and veggies
later: a protein shake
really didnt eat that much. benched and watched a movie with kiddo.
now i'm up at 4:30 AM because of.. well... loneliness in essence i guess
whew
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
275 lb x 5 reps (+148 pts)
275 lb x 5 reps (+148 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+136 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+136 pts)
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
knee felt a bit wonky, switched to deads
Chin-Up:
5 reps (+34 pts)
5 reps (+34 pts)
5 reps (+34 pts)
dinner: a few fish sticks and veggies
later: a protein shake
really didnt eat that much. benched and watched a movie with kiddo.
now i'm up at 4:30 AM because of.. well... loneliness in essence i guess
whew
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
275 lb x 5 reps (+148 pts)
275 lb x 5 reps (+148 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+136 pts)
295 lb x 3 reps (+136 pts)
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
knee felt a bit wonky, switched to deads
Chin-Up:
5 reps (+34 pts)
5 reps (+34 pts)
5 reps (+34 pts)
20120614
20120614
lunch: chicken mayo and pickles
dinner: 5 eggs scrambled
later: oatmeal
kroger after swim school
dinner: 5 eggs scrambled
later: oatmeal
kroger after swim school
20120613
20120613
lunch: triggerfish, asparagus, broccoli
dinner: grilled beef salad
later: protein bar.. inexplicably at midnight... sleepeating.... fuuuuuck
dinner: grilled beef salad
later: protein bar.. inexplicably at midnight... sleepeating.... fuuuuuck
20120612
20120612
lunch: grilled chicken salad
dinner: bacon and eggs
also: apple and pb
feeling fat and gross. possibly because i'm fat and gross.
dinner: bacon and eggs
also: apple and pb
feeling fat and gross. possibly because i'm fat and gross.
20120611
20120611
lunch: steakhouse burger, sweet potato fries
dinner: bacon and leftover meat from kiddo's sammich, a few pieces of avocado
dinner: bacon and leftover meat from kiddo's sammich, a few pieces of avocado
20120610
20120610
lunch: newk's ultimate salad minus
dinner: chicken and asparagus
got kiddo back. it's amazing how giddy i get when i know she's about to come home. bitchface was oddly cordial. i can only assume she's up to something.
fixed up some pops and chairfarts in some of my songs.
pounding headache. frack.
dinner: chicken and asparagus
got kiddo back. it's amazing how giddy i get when i know she's about to come home. bitchface was oddly cordial. i can only assume she's up to something.
fixed up some pops and chairfarts in some of my songs.
pounding headache. frack.
20120609
20120609
lunch: three egg omelet and protein shake (banana, pb, no milk)
dinner: homemade crockpot soup, best yet, yum! secret recipe: stew meat, mexican stewed tomatoes, mild rotel, frozen soup mix, black beans, cumin, a little bit of cinnamon
later: oatmeal
Cycling:
1:03:00 || 13.5 mi (+344 pts)
painted my shutters. whew.
dinner: homemade crockpot soup, best yet, yum! secret recipe: stew meat, mexican stewed tomatoes, mild rotel, frozen soup mix, black beans, cumin, a little bit of cinnamon
later: oatmeal
Cycling:
1:03:00 || 13.5 mi (+344 pts)
painted my shutters. whew.
20120608
20120608
lunch: grilled chicken salad
dinner: chicken and cottage cheese
later: oatmeal
totally depressed and demotivated, just slept a bunch basically. no recording. no nothing.
let's try this again tomorrow...
dinner: chicken and cottage cheese
later: oatmeal
totally depressed and demotivated, just slept a bunch basically. no recording. no nothing.
let's try this again tomorrow...
20120607
20120607
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
dinner: hot dogs and sauerkraut
good lord lost girl was terrible this week.
dinner: hot dogs and sauerkraut
good lord lost girl was terrible this week.
20120606
20120606
lunch: half chicken, rice, asparagus
dinner: chicken philly salad, chicken, also some chicken
later: some cheerios and a protein shake + banana
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 3 reps (+74 pts)
195 lb x 3 reps (+79 pts)
195 lb x 3 reps (+79 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
on shuffle: AC/DC - High Voltage, AC/DC - Powerage, Black Sabbath - Sabotage
Barbell Shrug:
135 lb x 10 reps (+29 pts)
225 lb x 10 reps (+53 pts)
295 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
315 lb x 5 reps (+83 pts)
Romanian Deadlift:
135 lb x 5 reps (+52 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+52 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
Seated Cable Row:
120 lb x 10 reps (+37 pts)
140 lb x 5 reps (+36 pts)
150 lb x 5 reps (+39 pts)
Plank:
60 sec (+21 pts)
60 sec (+21 pts)
30 sec (+10 pts)
30 sec (+10 pts)
dinner: chicken philly salad, chicken, also some chicken
later: some cheerios and a protein shake + banana
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 3 reps (+74 pts)
195 lb x 3 reps (+79 pts)
195 lb x 3 reps (+79 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
on shuffle: AC/DC - High Voltage, AC/DC - Powerage, Black Sabbath - Sabotage
Barbell Shrug:
135 lb x 10 reps (+29 pts)
225 lb x 10 reps (+53 pts)
295 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
315 lb x 5 reps (+83 pts)
Romanian Deadlift:
135 lb x 5 reps (+52 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+52 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
Seated Cable Row:
120 lb x 10 reps (+37 pts)
140 lb x 5 reps (+36 pts)
150 lb x 5 reps (+39 pts)
Plank:
60 sec (+21 pts)
60 sec (+21 pts)
30 sec (+10 pts)
30 sec (+10 pts)
20120605
20120605
lunch: chicken
dinner: hamburger and veggies
later: protein oatmeal
took her to the park. got to hear bitchface's boyfriend yelling at bitchface over the phone, while bitchface was unaware. it was an enjoyable little snippet into their life.
was feeling depressed so i wrote about it. it'll stay locked away most likely. it doesn't do to dwell on mortality, but such is my lot in life.
dinner: hamburger and veggies
later: protein oatmeal
took her to the park. got to hear bitchface's boyfriend yelling at bitchface over the phone, while bitchface was unaware. it was an enjoyable little snippet into their life.
was feeling depressed so i wrote about it. it'll stay locked away most likely. it doesn't do to dwell on mortality, but such is my lot in life.
20120604
20120604
dropped her off at camp this morning. good stuff.
discovering melodies is like catching fireflies: you have two choices.
lunch: grilled chicken salad
dinner: tuna, pickles, beef and broccoli frozen dinner
later: some cheerios
spent a bunch at kroger's.
discovering melodies is like catching fireflies: you have two choices.
lunch: grilled chicken salad
dinner: tuna, pickles, beef and broccoli frozen dinner
later: some cheerios
spent a bunch at kroger's.
20120603
20120603
took her to church this morning and learned her kindergarten teacher had passed overnight. texted bitchface and although it started out benign, she then hit me with:
ex: well, i will be able to get there Friday around 4:30 or so to get her. I want her to come, but I want her to want to come and have a good time and not be upset. I know you're trying to make sure she knows she can call you, but it makes it hard for us when she knows she can just come home. I would prefer for it not to be an option for her when she is here-- we can have fun and have a good time, and she has to be ok with being away from you, whether it's with me or my family or whatever. I'm not pointing any fingers or saying you are doing anything wrong... I'm just asking that, before she comes, you maybe talk to her about being a big girl and having fun while she's here.
me: I never told her I would come and get her, I only told you. I had to cancel my plans last week because of all this. I spent a lot of time and energy over the years trying to help foster a bond between you two which broke at some point.. unfortunately, it never happened. it is unthinkable to me that a child wouldn't want to spend time with her parent.. you have no greater responsibility in your life than to fix it. Unfortunately, I can't help anymore, I had to move on for her well being and my sanity. She must always know she can talk to me.
ex: I don't want her to not be able to talk to you-- she told us that you have told her she can come home if she doesn't feel good or gets scared. I swear to you that is what she has told us. I don't want her calling when she's freaking out and upset, I try to calm her down and get her to rationalize it first. That wouldn't happen last week, and she kept getting upset. I don't want her like that. I'm sorry you had to cancel plans last week-- I really am. I did not want her to go home... But more than that I don't want her upset like she was.
me: Nope, I try my best to cheer her up before she goes with you. I'm not trying to sabotage you, a. Whatever it is you've become, you'll always be her mom. You call me telling me I indulge her, and I wonder in this world who wouldn't be thankful I am the man I have become. I know she's thankful for it. You don't have to spend a single penny on her, you don't have to teach her a lesson, you just have to show her that you love her.. Love is the lesson.
lunch: chicken and omelet
dinner: ?? i had a protein shake.. i don't have much food left in the house.
depressed. bleh.
ex: well, i will be able to get there Friday around 4:30 or so to get her. I want her to come, but I want her to want to come and have a good time and not be upset. I know you're trying to make sure she knows she can call you, but it makes it hard for us when she knows she can just come home. I would prefer for it not to be an option for her when she is here-- we can have fun and have a good time, and she has to be ok with being away from you, whether it's with me or my family or whatever. I'm not pointing any fingers or saying you are doing anything wrong... I'm just asking that, before she comes, you maybe talk to her about being a big girl and having fun while she's here.
me: I never told her I would come and get her, I only told you. I had to cancel my plans last week because of all this. I spent a lot of time and energy over the years trying to help foster a bond between you two which broke at some point.. unfortunately, it never happened. it is unthinkable to me that a child wouldn't want to spend time with her parent.. you have no greater responsibility in your life than to fix it. Unfortunately, I can't help anymore, I had to move on for her well being and my sanity. She must always know she can talk to me.
ex: I don't want her to not be able to talk to you-- she told us that you have told her she can come home if she doesn't feel good or gets scared. I swear to you that is what she has told us. I don't want her calling when she's freaking out and upset, I try to calm her down and get her to rationalize it first. That wouldn't happen last week, and she kept getting upset. I don't want her like that. I'm sorry you had to cancel plans last week-- I really am. I did not want her to go home... But more than that I don't want her upset like she was.
me: Nope, I try my best to cheer her up before she goes with you. I'm not trying to sabotage you, a. Whatever it is you've become, you'll always be her mom. You call me telling me I indulge her, and I wonder in this world who wouldn't be thankful I am the man I have become. I know she's thankful for it. You don't have to spend a single penny on her, you don't have to teach her a lesson, you just have to show her that you love her.. Love is the lesson.
lunch: chicken and omelet
dinner: ?? i had a protein shake.. i don't have much food left in the house.
depressed. bleh.
20120602
20120602
lessee. had weird ass dreams and woke up at 4am. was up until 6am, back down until about 9. parents showed around 9:30 with a pressure washer. i cleaned off my front porch and walkway and omg does it look 100x better. my dad pulled an old holly root out of the ground with his truck, and my mom cleaned up around the house.
after they left we hit the park for some hide-and-seek and soccer. i surprised myself by doing chin-ups and not feeling like crap.
drove over to tcby and got her a waffle cone, and then back to the house for some movies (nutcracker and .. my mom called to report that the sequel to phantom was on pbs, so we're watching that). somehow, i got a workout in while she was watching nutcracker.
oh yeah, we also played lightsaber battle and some other things. she had fish sticks and lima beans, and then a little oatmeal.
i did a little work on an old song randomly. it's song #65, and is a bit of an oddity and a challenge, in that its one of the only one of my songs with three full verses and a refrain without a recording, and i have almost no clue how the melody or guitar parts went (it's been over 10 years).
i fixed a chord in the refrain and really like the little intro to it, and some of it actually came back to me... although i may just reuse some of the ideas for another project. me and my projects.
lunch: canned chicken, cottage cheese
dinner: moar chicken, lima beans
later: protein shake
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
185 lb x 8 reps (+105 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
Chin-Up:
5 reps (+34 pts)
4 reps (+25 pts)
4 reps (+25 pts)
4 reps (+25 pts)
Front Barbell Squat:
95 lb x 5 reps (+50 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
after they left we hit the park for some hide-and-seek and soccer. i surprised myself by doing chin-ups and not feeling like crap.
drove over to tcby and got her a waffle cone, and then back to the house for some movies (nutcracker and .. my mom called to report that the sequel to phantom was on pbs, so we're watching that). somehow, i got a workout in while she was watching nutcracker.
oh yeah, we also played lightsaber battle and some other things. she had fish sticks and lima beans, and then a little oatmeal.
i did a little work on an old song randomly. it's song #65, and is a bit of an oddity and a challenge, in that its one of the only one of my songs with three full verses and a refrain without a recording, and i have almost no clue how the melody or guitar parts went (it's been over 10 years).
i fixed a chord in the refrain and really like the little intro to it, and some of it actually came back to me... although i may just reuse some of the ideas for another project. me and my projects.
lunch: canned chicken, cottage cheese
dinner: moar chicken, lima beans
later: protein shake
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
185 lb x 8 reps (+105 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+85 pts)
Chin-Up:
5 reps (+34 pts)
4 reps (+25 pts)
4 reps (+25 pts)
4 reps (+25 pts)
Front Barbell Squat:
95 lb x 5 reps (+50 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
20120601
20120601
kiddo slept in. we had a picnic down at the river, then drove over to the park and did the paddle boats (and fed some ducks). came home and i worked out. and now we're about to go back out to grab food because i'm just not cooking.
lunch: chicken and apple (picnic)
dinner: quesadilla explosion salad (minus tortillas) at chili's
oh and then we went to a baseball game.
and then i snacked a little and had some peanuts.
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 6 reps (+61 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
275 lb x 1 reps (+81 pts)
275 lb x 1 reps (+81 pts)
275 lb x 1 reps (+81 pts)
Barbell Shrug:
135 lb x 10 reps (+29 pts)
225 lb x 10 reps (+53 pts)
315 lb x 5 reps (+83 pts)
315 lb x 5 reps (+83 pts)
315 lb x 5 reps (+83 pts)
315 lb x 5 reps (+83 pts)
Standing Barbell Shoulder Press:
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
105 lb x 5 reps (+74 pts)
115 lb x 5 reps (+79 pts)
105 lb x 5 reps (+74 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
lunch: chicken and apple (picnic)
dinner: quesadilla explosion salad (minus tortillas) at chili's
oh and then we went to a baseball game.
and then i snacked a little and had some peanuts.
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 6 reps (+61 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
275 lb x 1 reps (+81 pts)
275 lb x 1 reps (+81 pts)
275 lb x 1 reps (+81 pts)
Barbell Shrug:
135 lb x 10 reps (+29 pts)
225 lb x 10 reps (+53 pts)
315 lb x 5 reps (+83 pts)
315 lb x 5 reps (+83 pts)
315 lb x 5 reps (+83 pts)
315 lb x 5 reps (+83 pts)
Standing Barbell Shoulder Press:
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
105 lb x 5 reps (+74 pts)
115 lb x 5 reps (+79 pts)
105 lb x 5 reps (+74 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
20120531
20120531
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese, some cheerios
dinner: steak and squash
kiddo spent the day with her cousin, and i had one last day to myself.
finished tension and sidelong. good stuff.
dinner: steak and squash
kiddo spent the day with her cousin, and i had one last day to myself.
finished tension and sidelong. good stuff.
20120530
20120530
well, i went to pick up my kid today. because she wouldn't eat at my ex's house, and was just generally upset at being over there at all.
homesick, etc.
lunch: newk's ultimate salad i think
dinner: fuck i dont even know
i was so utterly destroyed today i don't even know what happened. i need to put up the text messages but it's just not in me. she's a controlling dickbag, that is sufficient for now.
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
275 lb x 1 reps (+81 pts)
275 lb x 3 reps (+119 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 10 reps (+124 pts)
295 lb x 1 reps (+93 pts)
315 lb x 1 reps (+106 pts)
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
205 lb x 4 reps (+96 pts)
225 lb x 1 reps (+66 pts)
Romanian Deadlift:
135 lb x 5 reps (+52 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
homesick, etc.
lunch: newk's ultimate salad i think
dinner: fuck i dont even know
i was so utterly destroyed today i don't even know what happened. i need to put up the text messages but it's just not in me. she's a controlling dickbag, that is sufficient for now.
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
275 lb x 1 reps (+81 pts)
275 lb x 3 reps (+119 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 10 reps (+124 pts)
295 lb x 1 reps (+93 pts)
315 lb x 1 reps (+106 pts)
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
205 lb x 4 reps (+96 pts)
225 lb x 1 reps (+66 pts)
Romanian Deadlift:
135 lb x 5 reps (+52 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
20120529
20120529
text message received: "m wants to come home. she is making herself upset and sick and won't eat. we have explained that you have to work and that there isn't anyone home to stay with her, but she just keeps saying she wants you. I want her to stay and work through this but she is really making herself sick. I have asked her to calm herself down with deep breaths before we talk about it, or before she calls you. Sometimes she is ok, but she wants to come home and I am asking if you want her to. If not, you need to explain why not, and if so, you'll need to come get her this evening."
total lack of parenting ability? check.
attempted delegation of all responsibility? check.
wtf am i going to do?
i went and got my kid, that's what i did.
lunch: grilled chicken salad from newk's
dinner: a piece of chicken, some cheerios, milk
no lifting. no recording. just drama.
total lack of parenting ability? check.
attempted delegation of all responsibility? check.
wtf am i going to do?
i went and got my kid, that's what i did.
lunch: grilled chicken salad from newk's
dinner: a piece of chicken, some cheerios, milk
no lifting. no recording. just drama.
20120528
20120528
breakfast: four egg omelet and mini sausages
lunch: chicken breast, stir fry
dinner?: some baby cereal back at the house with protein powder
kiddo has called twice. she is homesick. i explained to bitchface that i am her home, but she is insistent on "teaching her a lesson", so she won't be coming home until friday. she then tells me i am too indulgent on her.
i can almost bet i'll get a copout message soon.
lunch: chicken breast, stir fry
dinner?: some baby cereal back at the house with protein powder
kiddo has called twice. she is homesick. i explained to bitchface that i am her home, but she is insistent on "teaching her a lesson", so she won't be coming home until friday. she then tells me i am too indulgent on her.
i can almost bet i'll get a copout message soon.
20120527
20120527
lunch: two pieces of salmon
dinner: two hot dogs, sausage and cheese, some nuts
my friend funkshun had a party tonight, so i went. no kiddo around, just me. i got all nervous thinking there might be women there but .. there weren't. the good news is that my nervous energy resulted in two spotless bathrooms at my place before i left. wishful fucking thinking indeed.
so my friend found out he's having a kid (i did happen to notice a hole in the wall when i came in), and i tried to give him good advice. i never in a million years would have imagined he'd be a dad, but i guess everyone has to settle down eventually, whether you want to or not.
stayed at mom's overnight. fell asleep in a foldout with music in my ears.
dinner: two hot dogs, sausage and cheese, some nuts
my friend funkshun had a party tonight, so i went. no kiddo around, just me. i got all nervous thinking there might be women there but .. there weren't. the good news is that my nervous energy resulted in two spotless bathrooms at my place before i left. wishful fucking thinking indeed.
so my friend found out he's having a kid (i did happen to notice a hole in the wall when i came in), and i tried to give him good advice. i never in a million years would have imagined he'd be a dad, but i guess everyone has to settle down eventually, whether you want to or not.
stayed at mom's overnight. fell asleep in a foldout with music in my ears.
20120526
20120526
cycled 10mi today. then mowed the front yard.
breakfast: leftover soup
lunch: chicken, cottage cheese, turnip greens
dinner: oatmeal with protein powder
bitchface put me into a terrible mood/state tonight, and i think i took it out on my friend. i hope i didn't hurt her, because that wasn't(is never) my intent. fml.
breakfast: leftover soup
lunch: chicken, cottage cheese, turnip greens
dinner: oatmeal with protein powder
bitchface put me into a terrible mood/state tonight, and i think i took it out on my friend. i hope i didn't hurt her, because that wasn't(is never) my intent. fml.
20120525
20120525
kiddo's last day at school. she's got to be the only kid not excited about it this morning, and that's purely because she has to spend the weekend/week with my ex. bleh.
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
dinner: homemade soup
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
Front Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
Barbell Shrug:
135 lb x 5 reps (+24 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+45 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+45 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+45 pts)
295 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
295 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
Standing Barbell Shoulder Press:
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
Barbell Deadlift:
185 lb x 5 reps (+81 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
nightmare 1: she's having sex with guys and girls, i tell boyfriend and he's okay with it. why is this going on inside my house, and why is this dream going on inside my head. i want a reset switch. so tired of dried up tears. there's no escape.
except to burrow deeper within.
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
dinner: homemade soup
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
Front Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
Barbell Shrug:
135 lb x 5 reps (+24 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+45 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+45 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+45 pts)
295 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
295 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
Standing Barbell Shoulder Press:
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
Barbell Deadlift:
185 lb x 5 reps (+81 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
nightmare 1: she's having sex with guys and girls, i tell boyfriend and he's okay with it. why is this going on inside my house, and why is this dream going on inside my head. i want a reset switch. so tired of dried up tears. there's no escape.
except to burrow deeper within.
20120524
20120524
i never knew that this, could be my fondest wish
standing bathed in gold, invited to the grove
and even in their midst, determined to exist
you think i'm standing still, but there's an iron will (to grow)
lunch: canned chicken, cottage cheese, canned mixed vegetables, some leftover cereal and cashews (fuck, overate)
dinner: protein powder-infused baby oatmeal
spent the evening with my kiddo. too tired to do much else.
standing bathed in gold, invited to the grove
and even in their midst, determined to exist
you think i'm standing still, but there's an iron will (to grow)
lunch: canned chicken, cottage cheese, canned mixed vegetables, some leftover cereal and cashews (fuck, overate)
dinner: protein powder-infused baby oatmeal
spent the evening with my kiddo. too tired to do much else.
20120523
20120523
moe's opened a new location near the workplace so we went by for a (free) lunch on their opening day. it was okay i guess.
lunch: steak salad
dinner: omelet
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
Plank:
60 sec (+21 pts)
60 sec (+21 pts)
60 sec (+21 pts)
lunch: steak salad
dinner: omelet
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
Plank:
60 sec (+21 pts)
60 sec (+21 pts)
60 sec (+21 pts)
20120522
20120522
lunch: grilled chicken salad
dinner: salad bar at jason's
went to the library and she got some books. off to jason's for dinner, then swung by kroger's.
no lifting tonight except some light deadlifting... ran out of time.
dinner: salad bar at jason's
went to the library and she got some books. off to jason's for dinner, then swung by kroger's.
no lifting tonight except some light deadlifting... ran out of time.
20120521
20120521
lunch: grilled chicken salad
dinner: chicken
and: protein shake
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
fighting some lingering issues in my arm, can't really do much besides squatting at the moment
Plank:
60 sec (+21 pts)
60 sec (+21 pts)
60 sec (+21 pts)
went to the park afterwards.
tough monday.
dinner: chicken
and: protein shake
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
fighting some lingering issues in my arm, can't really do much besides squatting at the moment
Plank:
60 sec (+21 pts)
60 sec (+21 pts)
60 sec (+21 pts)
went to the park afterwards.
tough monday.
20120520
20120520
up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare where some zoo animals escaped.. and were hungry. i'm sure i'll have another when i go back to sleep.
so a (fairly hot) girl comes to my front door this morning saying she lost her cell phone last night and she tracked it via gps to this general area. i tell her i don't have it (unfortunately) and she went away. i close the door and m says "well that was a total waste of pants". awesome.
lunch: chicken
dinner: salad w/chicken at parentals
so a (fairly hot) girl comes to my front door this morning saying she lost her cell phone last night and she tracked it via gps to this general area. i tell her i don't have it (unfortunately) and she went away. i close the door and m says "well that was a total waste of pants". awesome.
lunch: chicken
dinner: salad w/chicken at parentals
20120519
20120519
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
dinner: cobb salad at newk's
m had a pool party this morning. she had a blast. i read a philip wylie book and hid from adult conversation as best i could. most of the moms know my routine and leave me alone.
came home and we both napped a bit. went back out to go see pirates band of misfits at the theater. saw/talked with a former relative at the restaurant.
she wanted to go on a bike ride but her bike is simply too big for her. i'm going down to mom's tomorrow i think and let her try this one we got at a yard sale for $20. it may actually be better for her.
she had some pizza and cake at the party, chicken/pears for lunch, ham sandwich and fruit for dinner, and we split an uncrustable just now. we also caught fireflies.
i have a headache and need some me time.
dinner: cobb salad at newk's
m had a pool party this morning. she had a blast. i read a philip wylie book and hid from adult conversation as best i could. most of the moms know my routine and leave me alone.
came home and we both napped a bit. went back out to go see pirates band of misfits at the theater. saw/talked with a former relative at the restaurant.
she wanted to go on a bike ride but her bike is simply too big for her. i'm going down to mom's tomorrow i think and let her try this one we got at a yard sale for $20. it may actually be better for her.
she had some pizza and cake at the party, chicken/pears for lunch, ham sandwich and fruit for dinner, and we split an uncrustable just now. we also caught fireflies.
i have a headache and need some me time.
20120517
20120517
A distress signal behind enemy lines
Uncouple the brakes along the way
A counter-offensive we can believe in
Essential to the failure of the mission
A brand new entertainment venture
General admission to everyone save one
A misdirection of forces and virtues
Smitten by the sick coercion of self
A mystery of continued exertion
Deliberating for the same old verdict
A tireless spectacle of resistance
Lift until the weight falls asunder
A plan to break from the mold
Foolproof nature precludes success
A never-ending battle of will and woe
Chords provide little to no comfort
A new tune for the moribund troubadour
Revolting in its perpetual sameness
A mirror image skids to a dead stop
Support never got the signal, sir
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
and: protein shake
dinner: chicken strips salad at chick fil'a
two nine minute miles today. fuck everyone who looked at me today.
Uncouple the brakes along the way
A counter-offensive we can believe in
Essential to the failure of the mission
A brand new entertainment venture
General admission to everyone save one
A misdirection of forces and virtues
Smitten by the sick coercion of self
A mystery of continued exertion
Deliberating for the same old verdict
A tireless spectacle of resistance
Lift until the weight falls asunder
A plan to break from the mold
Foolproof nature precludes success
A never-ending battle of will and woe
Chords provide little to no comfort
A new tune for the moribund troubadour
Revolting in its perpetual sameness
A mirror image skids to a dead stop
Support never got the signal, sir
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
and: protein shake
dinner: chicken strips salad at chick fil'a
two nine minute miles today. fuck everyone who looked at me today.
20120516
20120516-2
The celibate afterlife
Spoonfed aphorisms
Hope and deliverance
A change of address
More cracked pavement
A bonfire for regret
Extinguish all else
Fantasies confined
Reset the thermostat
Don't forget to lock up
Spoonfed aphorisms
Hope and deliverance
A change of address
More cracked pavement
A bonfire for regret
Extinguish all else
Fantasies confined
Reset the thermostat
Don't forget to lock up
20120516
see something you like? cause i don't
got a middleman just to make the light
with a hand brushing the ceiling
or is it the roof this go around
not a soul on my tail anymore
another figment of my imagination
got a ticket for the blue line
but i haven't yet paid the toll
the lemonade stand in my head
is handing out all the sweet parts
a fire sale full of lighters
ignite the leftovers already
late at night, call it a day
lunch: burger and sweet potato fries
dinner: i dont even know
got a middleman just to make the light
with a hand brushing the ceiling
or is it the roof this go around
not a soul on my tail anymore
another figment of my imagination
got a ticket for the blue line
but i haven't yet paid the toll
the lemonade stand in my head
is handing out all the sweet parts
a fire sale full of lighters
ignite the leftovers already
late at night, call it a day
lunch: burger and sweet potato fries
dinner: i dont even know
20120515
20120515
looks like i missed some days. just assume i ate chicken.
volleyball on friday at the company picnic.. i wish i could do it every day, i'd be in AMAZING shape.
mother's day was great.. haven't seen the middle brother in a long time so that was nice. i still need to talk to my attorney regarding the latest child support papers.
last night's workout. new PR in the squat.
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
235 lb x 5 reps (+113 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
275 lb x 1 reps (+81 pts)
Front Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
and then i went to the park with kiddo and pooch. which is sort of like turner and hooch but not.
more recording this week? i guess i need to pick a song or three. i got distracted writing "wonder".
who am i, asking for more hours in a day, anyway
still playing new vegas.
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
dinner: steak
then: insane protein shake (banana, baby oatmeal, protein powder, milk, ice)
volleyball on friday at the company picnic.. i wish i could do it every day, i'd be in AMAZING shape.
mother's day was great.. haven't seen the middle brother in a long time so that was nice. i still need to talk to my attorney regarding the latest child support papers.
last night's workout. new PR in the squat.
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
235 lb x 5 reps (+113 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
275 lb x 1 reps (+81 pts)
Front Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
and then i went to the park with kiddo and pooch. which is sort of like turner and hooch but not.
more recording this week? i guess i need to pick a song or three. i got distracted writing "wonder".
who am i, asking for more hours in a day, anyway
still playing new vegas.
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
dinner: steak
then: insane protein shake (banana, baby oatmeal, protein powder, milk, ice)
20120513
20120512
20120512
xbox and songwriting this morning. crock pot is going.
i feel like i want to squat.
it annoys me when i get a song written minus one line.
played a lot of fallout. found a tick on my leg (before it could bite). now i'm freaked out. bought a bike for me and some frontline for my dog today.
lunch: lemon butter cod
dinner: bison stew
later: protein oatmeal
later2: nuts and honey
unbelievably vivid and terrible dreams. bitchface's impact and control over my thoughts has returned en masse. it's 4AM and i doubt i'll be able to get back to sleep.
i feel like i want to squat.
it annoys me when i get a song written minus one line.
played a lot of fallout. found a tick on my leg (before it could bite). now i'm freaked out. bought a bike for me and some frontline for my dog today.
lunch: lemon butter cod
dinner: bison stew
later: protein oatmeal
later2: nuts and honey
unbelievably vivid and terrible dreams. bitchface's impact and control over my thoughts has returned en masse. it's 4AM and i doubt i'll be able to get back to sleep.
20120511
20120511
the company picnic is today. i'm dressed for the occasion. this is the level of casual i was born to wear.
lunch: one wimpy piece of chicken, beans and slaw.. fucking stingy bastards
dinner: chicken and cottage cheese
later: oatmeal with protein powder mixed in
got a lot of sun, played for three hours, completely destroyed. watched the crossfit championships on the 360 espn app, good stuff.
playing through fallout: new vegas. wrote a refrain to my latest song.. well, the music anyway, the words will come to me. they usually do, at least.
i'm about to get the crock pot started for my usual saturday fare.
all of this is a distraction from the fact that my daughter is not here this weekend.
lunch: one wimpy piece of chicken, beans and slaw.. fucking stingy bastards
dinner: chicken and cottage cheese
later: oatmeal with protein powder mixed in
got a lot of sun, played for three hours, completely destroyed. watched the crossfit championships on the 360 espn app, good stuff.
playing through fallout: new vegas. wrote a refrain to my latest song.. well, the music anyway, the words will come to me. they usually do, at least.
i'm about to get the crock pot started for my usual saturday fare.
all of this is a distraction from the fact that my daughter is not here this weekend.
20120510
20120510
lunch: burger and sweet potato fries
dinner: craptastic chicken salad at chik-fil-a
later: i dunno? nuts?
no exercise. arm still wonky. park trip and conversed with actual females. creepy vibe conveyed as always.
bitchface phone call. yelling boyfriend, etc. depression worsening. suicidal fantasies on mother's day weekend. great.
dinner: craptastic chicken salad at chik-fil-a
later: i dunno? nuts?
no exercise. arm still wonky. park trip and conversed with actual females. creepy vibe conveyed as always.
bitchface phone call. yelling boyfriend, etc. depression worsening. suicidal fantasies on mother's day weekend. great.
20120509
20120508
20120508
lunch: grilled chicken salad, bleu cheese
dinner: chicken, veggies
later: oatmeal, protein, nuts
bicep weirdness prevented me from doing anything except two wimpy sets of squats. i am running tomorrow if i possibly can.
dinner: chicken, veggies
later: oatmeal, protein, nuts
bicep weirdness prevented me from doing anything except two wimpy sets of squats. i am running tomorrow if i possibly can.
20120507
20120507
lunch: three kinds of chicken
dinner: more chicken, a couple of eggs (hard boiled)
later: protein
got served today. great.
and then she puked. and then i had to pick her up.
no lifting today.
dinner: more chicken, a couple of eggs (hard boiled)
later: protein
got served today. great.
and then she puked. and then i had to pick her up.
no lifting today.
20120506
20120506
lunch: i think i eventually ate chicken and cottage cheese
dinner: omelet and bacon, protein PWO
and then: protein and oatmeal
feeling AMAZING after a 300lb PR deadlift. nothing is gonna bring me down. well, cept tomorrow maybe.
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
255 lb x 5 reps (+129 pts)
300 lb x 3 reps (+141 pts)
300 lb x 1 reps (+96 pts)
well damn, i just deadlifted every plate i own.. now i have to buy more plates #fitocracyworldproblems
Dumbbell Bench Press:
40 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
40 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
40 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
40 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
50 lb x 10 reps (+78 pts)
Hammer Dumbbell Curl:
30 lb x 10 reps (+19 pts)
30 lb x 10 reps (+19 pts)
30 lb x 10 reps (+19 pts)
40 lb x 5 reps (+17 pts)
40 lb x 5 reps (+17 pts)
dinner: omelet and bacon, protein PWO
and then: protein and oatmeal
feeling AMAZING after a 300lb PR deadlift. nothing is gonna bring me down. well, cept tomorrow maybe.
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
255 lb x 5 reps (+129 pts)
300 lb x 3 reps (+141 pts)
300 lb x 1 reps (+96 pts)
well damn, i just deadlifted every plate i own.. now i have to buy more plates #fitocracyworldproblems
Dumbbell Bench Press:
40 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
40 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
40 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
40 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
50 lb x 10 reps (+78 pts)
Hammer Dumbbell Curl:
30 lb x 10 reps (+19 pts)
30 lb x 10 reps (+19 pts)
30 lb x 10 reps (+19 pts)
40 lb x 5 reps (+17 pts)
40 lb x 5 reps (+17 pts)
20120505
20120505
happy cinco de mayo. my daughter's recital is today. as long as she does okay, i will be okay.
:|
did fine. bitchface told.
breakfast: eggs and bacon
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
dinner: a few fish sticks, some baby cereal and mostly protein
her fever is back up. DAMNIT.
Running:
0:20:34 || 2.1 mi (+213 pts)
Barbell Squat:
65 lb x 5 reps (+36 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
Barbell Curl:
65 lb x 10 reps (+18 pts)
65 lb x 10 reps (+18 pts)
65 lb x 10 reps (+18 pts)
Romanian Deadlift:
135 lb x 5 reps (+52 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+59 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+59 pts)
165 lb x 5 reps (+63 pts)
175 lb x 5 reps (+68 pts)
Triceps Pushdown - Rope Attachment:
45 lb x 15 reps (+11 pts)
45 lb x 15 reps (+11 pts)
45 lb x 15 reps (+11 pts)
:|
did fine. bitchface told.
breakfast: eggs and bacon
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
dinner: a few fish sticks, some baby cereal and mostly protein
her fever is back up. DAMNIT.
Running:
0:20:34 || 2.1 mi (+213 pts)
Barbell Squat:
65 lb x 5 reps (+36 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
Barbell Curl:
65 lb x 10 reps (+18 pts)
65 lb x 10 reps (+18 pts)
65 lb x 10 reps (+18 pts)
Romanian Deadlift:
135 lb x 5 reps (+52 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+59 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+59 pts)
165 lb x 5 reps (+63 pts)
175 lb x 5 reps (+68 pts)
Triceps Pushdown - Rope Attachment:
45 lb x 15 reps (+11 pts)
45 lb x 15 reps (+11 pts)
45 lb x 15 reps (+11 pts)
20120504
20120504
whirlwind day. went to work, came home for lunch, back to work, back home, got the call that kiddo's fever had spiked again (102) and so instead of working out and trying to decompress, i drove back down to the parentals to spend the night with her. tomorrow is her dance recital. i just want her to be able to dance and have a good time, and be free of bitchface's drama train.
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
dinner: salmon croquettes, broccoli
later: baby cereal, pb
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
dinner: salmon croquettes, broccoli
later: baby cereal, pb
20120503
20120503
so after four days of my ex not calling while my kid's been home with a fever, she texts and asks how her daughter is doing. so i got the bright idea to put her on the phone, against my kid's wishes. the conversation went something like this:
"hey mom"
"hey how're you doing?"
"not good"
"what's wrong"
".... well, i'm sick"
"there's no reason to take an attitude with me"
"..."
"you need to get better so i can take you out for ice cream after your dance recital on saturday"
"..."
"well, i just got to the gym, so let me call you back when i get out"
"bye mom"
afterwards i just held her and we cried a little bit for the loss of this person we used to know. there's no way i'm putting that bitch on the phone with my child any more today.
fuck her.
lunch: chicken, protein shake
"hey mom"
"hey how're you doing?"
"not good"
"what's wrong"
".... well, i'm sick"
"there's no reason to take an attitude with me"
"..."
"you need to get better so i can take you out for ice cream after your dance recital on saturday"
"..."
"well, i just got to the gym, so let me call you back when i get out"
"bye mom"
afterwards i just held her and we cried a little bit for the loss of this person we used to know. there's no way i'm putting that bitch on the phone with my child any more today.
fuck her.
lunch: chicken, protein shake
20120502
20120502
lunch: burger, sweet potato fries
in between: two homemade banana nut muffins
dinner: homemade chicken soup
and afterwards: oatmeal and another muffin.. grrr self control.
i'm so fucking full right now i could burst. also exhausted. also extremely relieved my kid is on the mend. totally overwhelmed with the amount of shit going on this weekend.
tomorrow i have to grab a bunch of decorative shit necessary to make a dino thing at school. saturday is her recital. sunday is a birthday party and a concert at my old school. too many social situations woven in between those to count.
in between: two homemade banana nut muffins
dinner: homemade chicken soup
and afterwards: oatmeal and another muffin.. grrr self control.
i'm so fucking full right now i could burst. also exhausted. also extremely relieved my kid is on the mend. totally overwhelmed with the amount of shit going on this weekend.
tomorrow i have to grab a bunch of decorative shit necessary to make a dino thing at school. saturday is her recital. sunday is a birthday party and a concert at my old school. too many social situations woven in between those to count.
20120501
20120501
she vomited at midnight and again at six. fmt.
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
dinner: probably the same thing i don't know today has been a blur
Barbell Squat:
45 lb x 10 reps (+37 pts)
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
205 lb x 10 reps (+109 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
Seated Cable Row:
95 lb x 15 reps (+33 pts)
145 lb x 10 reps (+44 pts)
145 lb x 10 reps (+44 pts)
Woodchoppers:
40 lb x 10 reps (+20 pts)
40 lb x 10 reps (+20 pts)
40 lb x 10 reps (+20 pts)
done with a 40 lb dumbbell
Standing One-Arm Dumbbell Push Press:
40 lb x 5 reps (+20 pts)
40 lb x 5 reps (+20 pts)
40 lb x 5 reps (+20 pts)
done from floor
Wide-Grip Lat Pulldown:
95 lb x 10 reps (+29 pts)
95 lb x 10 reps (+29 pts)
95 lb x 10 reps (+29 pts)
Plank:
60 sec (+21 pts)
60 sec (+21 pts)
60 sec (+21 pts)
Push-Up:
10 reps (+15 pts)
10 reps (+15 pts)
10 reps (+15 pts)
superset with planks
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
dinner: probably the same thing i don't know today has been a blur
Barbell Squat:
45 lb x 10 reps (+37 pts)
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
205 lb x 10 reps (+109 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
Seated Cable Row:
95 lb x 15 reps (+33 pts)
145 lb x 10 reps (+44 pts)
145 lb x 10 reps (+44 pts)
Woodchoppers:
40 lb x 10 reps (+20 pts)
40 lb x 10 reps (+20 pts)
40 lb x 10 reps (+20 pts)
done with a 40 lb dumbbell
Standing One-Arm Dumbbell Push Press:
40 lb x 5 reps (+20 pts)
40 lb x 5 reps (+20 pts)
40 lb x 5 reps (+20 pts)
done from floor
Wide-Grip Lat Pulldown:
95 lb x 10 reps (+29 pts)
95 lb x 10 reps (+29 pts)
95 lb x 10 reps (+29 pts)
Plank:
60 sec (+21 pts)
60 sec (+21 pts)
60 sec (+21 pts)
Push-Up:
10 reps (+15 pts)
10 reps (+15 pts)
10 reps (+15 pts)
superset with planks
20120430
20120430
kiddo's tummy is hurting this morning.. no school, no work... i'm going to be bored out of my damn skull today.
time for coffee.
wake up.
kid's sick.
she takes a shower and has some pepto.
give her soup and tea.
go do yard work.
she comes outside and tells me she's fine.
i tell her she's going to school.
i take a shower (1).
take her to school.
come home, continue yard work.
get a call from school, she has a 103 fever, come pick her up.
i take a shower (2).
go pick her up.
take her by the pediatrician without an appointment, get dirty looks.
nurse sees her, gives some motrin, and says come back at 1:50.
i'm not done with the yard, and will likely take a third shower.
fmm (fuck my monday).
finished the yard, got up 99% of the pecan flowers (which are 10x worse than oak flowers).
i take a shower (3).
take my kid with her 102 degree fever and chills to quick grab some tylenol.
give her some tylenol and put her to bed about 6.
eat dinner. finally sit down.
she's probably going to be out of commission tomorrow as well... if so, i'm going to try and squat 50 reps.
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
snack: mixed nuts, protein, a few pieces of chicken bologna, random shit like cheerios, the usual suspects
dinner: three egg omelet
so i'm starting to feel crummy. although in all honesty, i was in a wifebeater-type workout shirt all day getting a lot of sun and directly doing battle with pollen for 8 hours. so it's probably that.
turns out i wasn't anywhere near bored out of my damn skull today. i hate it when i'm wrong.
time for coffee.
wake up.
kid's sick.
she takes a shower and has some pepto.
give her soup and tea.
go do yard work.
she comes outside and tells me she's fine.
i tell her she's going to school.
i take a shower (1).
take her to school.
come home, continue yard work.
get a call from school, she has a 103 fever, come pick her up.
i take a shower (2).
go pick her up.
take her by the pediatrician without an appointment, get dirty looks.
nurse sees her, gives some motrin, and says come back at 1:50.
i'm not done with the yard, and will likely take a third shower.
fmm (fuck my monday).
finished the yard, got up 99% of the pecan flowers (which are 10x worse than oak flowers).
i take a shower (3).
take my kid with her 102 degree fever and chills to quick grab some tylenol.
give her some tylenol and put her to bed about 6.
eat dinner. finally sit down.
she's probably going to be out of commission tomorrow as well... if so, i'm going to try and squat 50 reps.
lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
snack: mixed nuts, protein, a few pieces of chicken bologna, random shit like cheerios, the usual suspects
dinner: three egg omelet
so i'm starting to feel crummy. although in all honesty, i was in a wifebeater-type workout shirt all day getting a lot of sun and directly doing battle with pollen for 8 hours. so it's probably that.
turns out i wasn't anywhere near bored out of my damn skull today. i hate it when i'm wrong.
20120429
20120429
church, lunch, award ceremony for kiddo's art exhibit (bitchface and her grandmother showed).
another old song in the book... i think it turned out quite nice.
lunch: grilled chicken
dinner: mahimahi, asparagus, rice
the girl at the counter said i had pretty teeth. i had nothing prepared for this situation, other than to stammer on endlessly. i will probably never go there again.
Standing Barbell Shoulder Press:
65 lb x 10 reps (+66 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+75 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+75 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
195 lb x 3 reps (+79 pts)
205 lb x 1 reps (+58 pts)
Barbell Curl:
65 lb x 10 reps (+18 pts)
65 lb x 10 reps (+18 pts)
65 lb x 10 reps (+18 pts)
65 lb x 10 reps (+18 pts)
65 lb x 10 reps (+18 pts)
another old song in the book... i think it turned out quite nice.
lunch: grilled chicken
dinner: mahimahi, asparagus, rice
the girl at the counter said i had pretty teeth. i had nothing prepared for this situation, other than to stammer on endlessly. i will probably never go there again.
Standing Barbell Shoulder Press:
65 lb x 10 reps (+66 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+75 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+75 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
195 lb x 3 reps (+79 pts)
205 lb x 1 reps (+58 pts)
Barbell Curl:
65 lb x 10 reps (+18 pts)
65 lb x 10 reps (+18 pts)
65 lb x 10 reps (+18 pts)
65 lb x 10 reps (+18 pts)
65 lb x 10 reps (+18 pts)
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