biked 15 mi. had a protein bar along the way.
installed gutter screens on the entire back of the house and a little bit around the sides and downspouts.
also alabama lost. not a bad day all in all.
lunch: chicken, cottage cheese
snack: uncrustable
dinner: homemade soup
missing my kidlet a little but i've gotten stuff done.
---
and then at 11pm as i was trying to go to sleep, the depression hit.
the realization of how little i've accomplished since she left.
it's almost been two whole years... and i've done almost nothing. stagnated.
no dating. haven't really made much of a dent in my body situation, which i still believe is the key to my happiness.
i did go to the beach and take my shirt off.
i beat a bunch of video games.
i kept the parenting boat afloat.
and yet i feel like i'm winning the battles and losing the war.
going to cry myself to sleep and wish for a drug to grant me release.
trapped in a shell, my intention is strong
with a mouthful of water, I can break through a stone
carried on a dove, I have dropped from the sky
now the ground is above and my goal is set high
reach out with a kiss from my mother
reach out just to smile at my father
straight like a wand, my magic is simple
sensing your laughter, the breeze makes me nimble
my colors displayed, I am ready to travel
on the back of a bee, all my children unravel
