20101216

Words come slowly today
Frozen by stolid defiance
The anger wells up like
Jagged stones under the sands
Everywhere I walk I feel them
Cutting away at my will
Tearing at my good intentions
Funny, they never hurt before
She turned on a dime
And never looked back
Out paths uncrossed.. forever?
She always was the pursuer

20101215

A trivial situation
Count your friends blessed
But they don't know you
Like I do
Your mind, your soul
I swam in your deepest depths
Or so I was convinced
Were you a pitiless dream
Idyllic and wistful
hopeful yet distraught
One part lover
One part friend
If I could
I'd do it all over again

20101214

She leaves for work
A morning kiss and hug
Say farewell to photo albums
Scrapbooks with blank pages
Inside jokes and anecdotes
The 5x7s gather dust
Those happy faces
They'll keep their smiles
Bide their time
And blow a kiss to the wind

20101213

The wound closes
Sutured by regret
Time on my hands evicted
For a guitar and a prayer
Tis the season
For a lapse of reason
I'm left holding what's right
Everything else slipped through my fingers

20101212

Can the river change course
We were caught upstream
A torrent of emotion
Rippling on and outward
Left to our own devices
Will we collide again
Wish our child could wish you back
Only time can fix things now

20101211

One week left, she says
Words pour from the tap
Holding her tight
Her reticent eyes
A bittersweet reminder
Of her iron resolve
We will always wear our rings
Even if only on the inside
She's made up our minds
But our hearts never let go

20101210

Strung the bad dreams into a necklace
A hailstorm of distilled memories
Buried his ring down deep
The endless march might one day uncover
The winds changed and stole her affection
A bewildered man waits in vain
The memories she'd forgotten
The love she'd forsaken
The home cracked like a shell
It's a seller's market they say

20101207

The reckoning has come to pass
But are we truly free
A bond broken, a fight is lost
Does she even know why
She moves out soon
Rejection stabs at me
Little knives of despair
Collision course with solitude
She'll pack her things
And she'll be off
My child and I abandoned
Is that really my fate
Will I ever get over her?
We had it all
She threw it away
She threw US away
Who would want this
Recycled family
Who would want this
Brokedown man
Is this what *I* wanted
No one asked
only now do I understand
The reality of love
It is positive and negative
All rolled into one
This pain I feel is love
This hurt she won't feel is love
Does she regret any of this
I still want to fix her
I want to make her whole
But her walls are back up
I'm powerless
The only woman I've ever loved
Rejected me
What is left for me here
Brake lights in the distance

20101202-2

Revelations! How terrible
And yet so much is lifted
Knowledge I asked for in youth
I was given knowledge
Truth I asked for this time
And truth i have received
What a horrible Christmas gift
But an unopened present
Of lies and deceit
Never served either of us
Forgiveness is over
We are over
It is the worst feeling ever
And yet
It is a relief
To know I'm not crazy
To know it doesn't end here
This pain too will pass
This pain too will pass

20101202

Does she know I'm watching
Does she even care
Does she know I'm hurting
Does she know I'm scared
Whatever happens now
She brought upon herself
For she is clearly wicked
And I am clearly deaf
She screamed her evil daily
But why, I'll never know
It's too much pain to deal with
And now it's time to go.