not even going to bother this morning, Elliott take it away:
a frozen tear melted here
to flood the man-made lake
i didn't mean to make
a drowning note fury wrote
that caused the earth to quake
confidence to shake
sorry, my mistake
not the song above but.. Elliott Smith - True Love
and i even have another song on deck. tried multi-tracking some last night, i wish i had more time to devote to all of this.. surprising myself asking for *more* time on this planet. my songs sound amazing with two vocal tracks overlaid, like a completely different ballpark.. it's just a pain in the ass to do with Audacity. i have a friend who's going to walk me through Logic Studio, it is the real deal but it's complicated as hell.
20110418
20110417
20110417
Apparently it's Palm Sunday
I recall enjoying the service
The guilt is pulling at my soul
It sure is pretty this morning
So why was I up at 4am
Writing a song about the affair
Need to wrap my head around it
The immensity of the offense
Years of deception, cheating
Somewhere along the way
I realize I'm one of those people
The ones you look at and say
How could he not have known
Why did he allow years of abuse
When did he know for sure
What was he thinking back then
I recall enjoying the service
The guilt is pulling at my soul
It sure is pretty this morning
So why was I up at 4am
Writing a song about the affair
Need to wrap my head around it
The immensity of the offense
Years of deception, cheating
Somewhere along the way
I realize I'm one of those people
The ones you look at and say
How could he not have known
Why did he allow years of abuse
When did he know for sure
What was he thinking back then
20110416
20110416
Six miles, three of them chased
You won't hear me complaining
Earned the respect of them
Two hotties out for their run
Owned by a linebacker (me)
Now I'm walking my li'l man
Then back for some xbox
Knuffle Bunny at the Orpheum
This morning's entertainment
Now left to my own devices
Like a pet shop boy
You won't hear me complaining
Earned the respect of them
Two hotties out for their run
Owned by a linebacker (me)
Now I'm walking my li'l man
Then back for some xbox
Knuffle Bunny at the Orpheum
This morning's entertainment
Now left to my own devices
Like a pet shop boy
20110415
20110415
Ain't life grand, stuck on rand()
Saw her apartment today
Met a kitten named Alice
For the briefest moment
It felt like a family moment
I remembered what we had
Wonder if she felt anything
Probably not, knowing her
Having trouble maintaining
Afterwards I'm in this dream
Lucid and lingering, tragic
Sitting at Chik-Fil-A, wistful
Yuppies and soccer moms
And I'm so out of place
Always out of place here
Here being the planet Earth
I can't relate to these people
Social misfit undercover work
Blah
Saw her apartment today
Met a kitten named Alice
For the briefest moment
It felt like a family moment
I remembered what we had
Wonder if she felt anything
Probably not, knowing her
Having trouble maintaining
Afterwards I'm in this dream
Lucid and lingering, tragic
Sitting at Chik-Fil-A, wistful
Yuppies and soccer moms
And I'm so out of place
Always out of place here
Here being the planet Earth
I can't relate to these people
Social misfit undercover work
Blah
20110414
20110414
Back from the land of misfit toys
A gift for the bad little girls and boys
Two main defects, one big and one small
One of them can't even be fixed at all
Still they try to stretch the truth
Too much, too little under the roof
Out of the box it made quite a scene
This plaything returned a tarnished green
If only things were as they used to be
Sometimes priceless merely means free.
A gift for the bad little girls and boys
Two main defects, one big and one small
One of them can't even be fixed at all
Still they try to stretch the truth
Too much, too little under the roof
Out of the box it made quite a scene
This plaything returned a tarnished green
If only things were as they used to be
Sometimes priceless merely means free.
20110413
20110413
No one really ever got me
Where I was coming from
Not sure the significance
Seems like others relate
What secret club was it
Will others see me afterwards
Maybe it's just human nature
I was the last to know
Are you out there somewhere
The heralded puzzle solver
Empty words from a ghost
Do they mean anything now
I cried real tears once
Just like you
Searched for my face
Never thought I'd get here
But here I was
A place you don't want to be
Elliott summed me up:
Tranquil as a dove
People who lost their true love
They all seem to fit
The same description
I feel cold, useless, and old
I wish I was no one.
Where I was coming from
Not sure the significance
Seems like others relate
What secret club was it
Will others see me afterwards
Maybe it's just human nature
I was the last to know
Are you out there somewhere
The heralded puzzle solver
Empty words from a ghost
Do they mean anything now
I cried real tears once
Just like you
Searched for my face
Never thought I'd get here
But here I was
A place you don't want to be
Elliott summed me up:
Tranquil as a dove
People who lost their true love
They all seem to fit
The same description
I feel cold, useless, and old
I wish I was no one.
20110412
20110412-2
Echoing on and out
A day becomes a life
Slowly but surely
Attune to repetition
Routine can be habit forming
Complacent complicity
Taste and see change
Yet cling to comfort
Reflex becomes longing
Yearn for perceived change
Till each finger slips off
Failure in succession
Lose our grasp in finality
Farewell to welfare
Familiar ledge heads skyward
Now falling towards uncertainty
Landings are rarely soft
Transitioned to a new map
Bewildered determination
To climb out!
But even in climbing
There is a repetition
Slowly but surely
A day becomes a life
Echoing on and out
A day becomes a life
Slowly but surely
Attune to repetition
Routine can be habit forming
Complacent complicity
Taste and see change
Yet cling to comfort
Reflex becomes longing
Yearn for perceived change
Till each finger slips off
Failure in succession
Lose our grasp in finality
Farewell to welfare
Familiar ledge heads skyward
Now falling towards uncertainty
Landings are rarely soft
Transitioned to a new map
Bewildered determination
To climb out!
But even in climbing
There is a repetition
Slowly but surely
A day becomes a life
Echoing on and out
20110412
Beginning of the road
Middle of the night
End of the healing process
Beginning of the silence
Middle of the road
End of combat
Beginning of the end
Middle of everything
End of the road
Middle of the night
End of the healing process
Beginning of the silence
Middle of the road
End of combat
Beginning of the end
Middle of everything
End of the road
20110411
20110411-2
And the tide's coming in again
At a loss for what's up next
A new face matures and grows
While a spirit atrophies and dies
This promontory, a leased home
And the tide's coming in again
Ear up to the shell like a kid
For an orchestra of deadbeats
Passive yet poised, coiled tight
Like a baby who won't survive
And the tide's coming in again
At a loss for what's up next
A new face matures and grows
While a spirit atrophies and dies
This promontory, a leased home
And the tide's coming in again
Ear up to the shell like a kid
For an orchestra of deadbeats
Passive yet poised, coiled tight
Like a baby who won't survive
And the tide's coming in again
20110411
A compulsive lair wants to chat
Her very breath is truculent
Time to face facts, she's a user
Your well being's not her concern
Why can't I cut this receptor
I am so susceptible to females
Trust no one is my usual mantra
Unless a girl pays attention
Only then the door swings open
For now I have some quietude
More music in my empty head
Music I just can't keep up with
But if I can help just one person
It will have been worth this pain
No, I am in no way a martyr
Just another sad, jealous guy
But my experience can teach
If I can stop one guy from this
Their finger trap can be deadly
And it's not a game anymore
Not when all you can do is lose.
Her very breath is truculent
Time to face facts, she's a user
Your well being's not her concern
Why can't I cut this receptor
I am so susceptible to females
Trust no one is my usual mantra
Unless a girl pays attention
Only then the door swings open
For now I have some quietude
More music in my empty head
Music I just can't keep up with
But if I can help just one person
It will have been worth this pain
No, I am in no way a martyr
Just another sad, jealous guy
But my experience can teach
If I can stop one guy from this
Their finger trap can be deadly
And it's not a game anymore
Not when all you can do is lose.
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