20151031

Turns out life is just one big misunderstanding.

20151030

self-destructive lately. a whole week of it has been not very fun for me or anyone around me.

balancing the facade of religion, the immeasurable pull of a fractious family, and the complete isolation disconnected severed fucking limb of random acquaintances in a social setting.

20151023

Yesterday's damage (if we're being honest):

Chicken strips and cottage cheese

Bologna sandwich, carrots, vitamin water

12 wings from wing stop, Veggie sticks, fries, and ranch

Two bowls of cereal

Ice cream and peanut butter

20151022

20151021-2

napped. didn't go to a show i bought a ticket for. fuckit.

it's gotten worse. how in the world did it get worse. bought fucking cologne. why. might as well attract the flies.

Every day it just goes faster and faster.  To what end.

20151021

The transition in a girl's eyes after she's finally lost interest in you after you not responding to her clear signals is more heartwrenching than a thousand tragedies.  And yet I've seen it multiple times.  And it's my fault.

20151019-2

Did not exercise.  Now in bed.  Depression coming through in waves.  

At least I'm getting tired now.  Fuck it.

20151019

been awhile. still good. i won't ever re-read the dark tower series, but it'll always be a part of me.

20151017

Today (in order of appearance):

Awoke, fed dog, let dog out, made coffee

Started cleaning kitchen, ended up removing windows from kitchen for deep cleaning, hosed down blinds, showed kiddo garden spider, mopped floor, did dishes, started laundry (two loads)

Kiddo played dragon quest

Former in-laws showed up to pick her up, they dropped off a silly old toy stroller and my former bedroom mirror which took me five years to get back (requested)

Started watching my alma mater begin to lose to the local shithead football team

Decided to go trail running instead of watching it

Came back, checked the score, decided my run was a great decision

Ate some lunch

Continued to clean things randomly, including the rug, the chair, vacuuming, etc

Played some more dragon quest

Made a toasted sandwich for dinner

Did some more laundry

Played some more dragon quest

And now I am watching Breakfast Club, realizing I've watched it censored countless times but never uncensored.  I'd actually like a censored version so my kiddo could watch it with me.  :/

20151016

dog messes served as my wake up call this morning. then my water spilled. forgot to get my child's drink as well. this is not how a friday is supposed to start.

think i'm going running for lunch.