19990120

whatever

i am the fork in the road
knife a-slicing away
hoping for a miracle
i am the forgotten soldier
was faithful when others withered
but now i sense the truth
in loneliness i have found me
"how could this be my fate", he said
standing myself is nearing its end
i have to escape from this
trying before left me more alone
i miss everyone i hate
i hate all i've missed
fuck them all, they're all alike
but most of all
last but not least
greatest in meaning
fuck you
forever
i'll choke on your ashes

19990115

gaining and losing

foot in the quick
never fitting into myself
trapped on the edge
weight drags me down
grasping for dead air
choking on the sand
worn out, dried up
denying myself the truth
regret is my sustenance
living for yesterday
one day at a time
as the world spins backwards
the mold breaks again
extremes of ugliness
fuck you and your self-esteem
i was winnowing away years ago
this is my masterpiece
let the living be duped