today is the last day of school for kiddo. she has a half day (and a party) and i hope she has a great time.
i'm currently sitting at work on a cold and wet day, but i'm only moderately complaining, as i must always remember the pain of the summertime when it cools off.
so i sent my ex a bunch of messages over gmail chat. i basically told her what all happened and then reiterated that i haven't had a drink all year (i haven't) and refuted her insinuation that i'm constantly dropping our kid off with others when i have her with the following:
me: just so you know, i am dealing with a still undiagnosed illness. i was playing tag with m about three weeks ago in the house and experienced extreme, nausea-inducing dizziness. she had to get the phone and call for help as i could not get off the floor. i was driven to the ER but they could not really determine what's up. they put me on fluids and it eventually subsided, although i still felt it for days, and am still feeling cranial pressure and back/neck issues on and off. one of my wisdom teeth was broken and so i had them all removed as a precaution, in case i had an abscess causing everything, but that did not solve the problem. i am going to another specialist while she's out of town, but i didn't want to scare her.
i haven't had a drink all year, i bought everyone's tickets for zoo brew and ended up not going.
Sent at 9:08 AM on Friday
me: and as far as me dropping her off at other people's homes when i have her or whatever you were insinuating before, she is craving normalcy and a positive female influence in her life and i have no other options but to put her in my sister's or mom's (or her aunt's) care so she gets played with.
Sent at 9:09 AM on Friday
me: i have no new phone, no new girl, no new life. all i have is me and i've devoted this year to getting in shape and goddamnit if my body isn't revolting.
ex: To address these in order:
me: so there you have it.
ex: I hope you can find out what's wrong over the break. I know it's scary not to know. I thought you knew it was Lyme?
me: that wouldn't cause acute vertigo
i had a ct scan but i need an mri, it could be a bulging disc but i'm tired of speculating honestly
Sent at 9:12 AM on Friday
ex: lost the chat, sorry.
Maybe consider letting her have friends OVER to play-- I'm making friends out here that have kids so hopefully in the spring she'll have some friends to play with out here. But she and I have had a good time these last couple of times playing Bananagrams and stuff.
me: i dont feel comfortable having other little girls over without a female parent in the house
ex: cp called to mention the bump on her bottom; please take her to the doctor to have that looked at, or else I can. It could get worse. I know she doesn't want to go, but it's like the whole dentist thing-- she can't dictate that.
I am sure cc and/or kr do not mind.
me: she's going to the dentist on my birthday morning
so she'll see one before the trip
ex: Good.
me: because she's been complaining about it, i think honestly a lot of it is her anxiety about me getting my teeth out
ex: Did you get me a copy of her insurance card, or can you, just for me to have?
me: yeah, i made a copy
ex: Doesn't matter-- letting the doc look at it is better than letting it get bad. She may need to see the school counselor again, if only to help her anxiety about YOU-- she's always worried about you, and that can manifest itself in numerous ways.
Sent at 9:19 AM on Friday
me: apparently everyone needs counseling, heh
meeting time, i'll see you at one
ex: Pretty much. Everyone is fucked up in their own way.
Ok.
i then read my horoscope:
Emotions, prejudices, or unresolved issues from the past come up in your interactions with others now, and you may not be very objective. This is a good time to speak up and clear the air of any grievances you have been holding on to for some time. Personal subjects are the topic of discussion now. Reminiscing, remembering, daydreaming about and reflecting on the past is likely.
weird, eh? i guess i feel better. although i probably just jumped into some sort of bear trap unknowing.
no breakfast.
hot dog and something else
balogna
sweet potato
