Meditation complete. I'm supposed to hold a picture in my mind of what I want. Trying to write a happy song, or at least, one focused on hope.
I did some introspection after the get together and I think one issue is that I tend to ask mundane conversational questions when nervous but the part of my brain devoted to creativity or levity becomes disconnected or severed during the process, resulting in banal interactions with nearly everyone. I was quite content to ask everyone about work (which no one wants to talk about really), geek stuff (which no woman in the room gives a damn about), and that's pretty much it. Whatever the pleasant small talk gene is, I'm going to need some coaching to rediscover it.
I realize I need social interaction, although I loathe it so. I need "my people", whoever that is. It may sadly result in a resubscription to wow, as I cannot seem to function outside the voice chat realm. I see geek girls around reddit and such, but invariably they have cats or something. Almost always a package deal. If I'm being honest with myself, I need to unhide my match profile and "go public". Here are my personal requirements on taking that step:
1. 205 lbs
2. New car? Probably not needed
3. ???
I need more friends, regardless of gender. How do people do this effectively and easily every day, when I cannot?
Hell I can't even hold onto the few friends I have left at this point... Who can blame them...
