20130228

sharpen the nail, a connoisseur of a long dead world
riding the rail,
the moon will still rise, so hide your disguise

.. bleh... writer's block.

20130227

can't really get much done today. took a nap and then, nothing.

okay it's time to write a song. i have some chords.

3/4 no capo downtuned 1 1/2
-5-1-1-3--------
-7-1-3-6(5)-----
-7-2-3-4--------
----------------
----------------
----------------

i want to write a song about finding inner peace/strength after loss. something positive.

20130223

I'll tell you what causes cancer: sadness.

A spare thought for the pennywise spendthrift
Without a balance sheet left to otherwise lend with
Sound of mind in body in the caretaker's stead
A passing moment leapt over their own maker's head
The dividend of all the righteous, caged umbrage
A free-fall withdrawal from society made presumptive
But what of the moral that was promised, well you see
Nothing in life ever comes for free

20130217

so i cried today, first time in awhile, i was watching a documentary on queen oddly enough and vacuuming the house beforehand. kiddo has a low grade fever and is going to the doctor's office tomorrow morning.

just sat on the couch and played some of my music.

i guess i'll go lift some weights and try to pull myself out of this funk.

20130215

it's finally coming together
freeze tag in the nether
head down in the rule book
just to get a new look
bursting with undue pride
all board, along for the ride
earbuds tucked tight for safety
safe in the arms of probably maybe

life overheard beneath the sounds
of a playlist designed to blot it out
such is the life of the invisible man
all wrapped up in backsliding plans
act naturally: fit in at a distance
take the stand as the only witness
wait for a change in the weather
it's finally coming together

20130214

valentine's day is a construct created by and for people i no longer associate with.

it was nice today, i went running.

i have some niggling neck pain today again. shrug.

lunch: newk's
dinner: chicken

yesterday was pretty much the same except for fish at lunch and mac&cheese for dinner (ash wednesday and all).

had to go to sleep early: chest pains, [x] other malaise

oh and the good mood has been stamped out. back to reality.

20130212

what'd i do? :(

...

upper body tonight, probably too much food, the usual..

20130211

lunch: newks
dinner: not newks

fuck. kid got sick. at least she gave me till 11 this time. fuck shit piss.

20130210

Kiddo back today... Illness slacking off but I had a whale of a headache this morning.

Lunch: chicken, banana
Dinner: rice, sweet potato
Later: Eskimo pie

Low calorie day I guess

Mary Poppins at 6:30 on stage, she loved it. Fought over dressing up but I won.

20130206

for posterity, here's what i ate today. no workout, my throat is jacked from running three miles yesterday.

lunch: newk's salad
dinner: chicken and cottage cheese
later: ice cream bar
and then: sausage and cottage cheese (fuck i overate)

could not breathe out of mouth, could not fall asleep, i think it was around 2am.

20130202

exercise: running (twice), about 2.5 mi total

breakfast: sausage and cottage cheese
lunch: chicken
lunch 2: chicken and greens
dinner: oatmeal and protein powder, hot tea
somewhat later: chocolate brownie
night eating: kashi go-lean crunch (fuck)
estimated calories: 2200

i got my hair did today. social anxiety overcome.. for now.

reallllly sick and tired of the night eating.

20130201

i stopped using fitocracy at some point last October. i'm not really sure why. i didn't stop working out mind you, just logging it on there. i still have my journal. i guess i want to start using it again, but it'd be a lot of work to log them, and i would rather avoid the social aspect of all the "propping" and bullshit.