so, my nephew was killed a week ago. we just buried him. i don't really have too many stories or anecdotes or anything about him, because honestly, we never shared a lot of time together -- i guess -- other than when we talked WoW or lifting or whatever. has dad was somewhat controlling and we really only saw him at full family get-togethers. i struggled to find things we connected on.
when he was much younger, he would hit me and my brothers, a result of the roughhousing between him and his father. at the time, i really didn't like the kid, but it wasn't his fault.
this is probably reading a little negative, but i don't mean it to. i loved him, and as he started to grow, he changed into a complete person, quite outgoing and popular: in other words, the opposite high school experience from myself.
i wish upon wish that i'd spent more time with him, telling him about the stupid fuck-ups i'd made in college; to impart some cautionary tale.. some wisdom, some restraint, anything.. although i know full well little of it would have sunk in. this was a boy without limits.
but the world has limits, many of them harsh and unforgiving, and he was a victim to it.
my mom told me, regardless of what actually happened -- we don't know the circumstances -- she will always think of him as a martyr. and, in point of fact, she's right. he will teach made child, his cousins, and friends a terrible but valuable lesson, hopefully.
his death was senseless, but my intj nature will work at it like every unsolvable problem in my head, turning the tumblers at it until they tumble out of existence.
i miss him.
i'd like to say he taught me a lesson. multiple people yesterday told me he looked just like me (yeah thanks, i don't want to hear that today of all days).
if i'm as attractive as the "most attractive" senior superlative, the only thing stopping me from finding happiness is me.
but i already knew that.
RIP..
