20110705

relaxed and essentially carefree.

ran this morning, read, played xbox, guitar, fixed a broken burner on my range, went to kroger, napped, and grilled chicken i had marinated in tequila lime all day.

vacuumed out the drip pan in the attic and called the warranty people. i'm not letting it bother me today.

kiddo is doing okay on her vacation, although the only way i get to hear a status report is to initiate it myself.

20110704

yeah, happy fourth. whatever. finished up some song lyrics that have been rattling around upstairs, played tales of vesperia a bunch on xbox, started a new book, and ran this afternoon after the rains cooled it off.

no a/c still.. but it's not unbearable.

20110703

today i realized my a/c situation is not fixed. as in there is a puddle on my ceiling, just outside my guest bathroom. i went to lowe's and bought a new filter, a wet vac, and some other crap to try and get it under control. it's not under control. i just ended up turning it off.

i had an invite to a friend's house for a cookout so i went over there and had an okay time. i'm so allergic to cats, it didn't long before my eyes wanted to eject from their sockets. no alcohol for me, only water.. no single women (as if). i can't lose weight cutting everything out of my life, but i'll keep plugging away. i left about 11 and came home.

20110702

Finally got a run in yesterday. Rerecorded one of my old songs and it sounds much better. I have a project on my hands, heh.

My mood was really black for most of this week.. no exercise plus the thought of my child away for a week.. sorry about that, readers.. whoMever you aren't.

Haven't prayed for much of anything but I couldn't help but ask for her safety this week. Old habits die hard. She's probably on the road to the airport as I write this. My ex is moving in with her bf and tells me my consent is not required because he's a roommate. Not sure if I should talk to my atty or not, but I feel sorta helpless there.

20110701

Final tethers cut
Nature's loving slut
Central to the cause
Simply at a loss
Driven by an urge
Pen the greatest dirge
Sacrificial lamb
All of it a scam

20110630

moments are fleeting
decimals repeating
cancer left untreated
please remain seated
a job well done
missing in action
a conjurer's cloak
of sadness and smoke
so far so bad
my blank wanted ad

20110629

Future problems solved with past mistakes. Back to back encumbrances flock to the scene of an accident waiting to happen. Nestled quietly in a din of motivation and inability to change, the warrior's residence becomes a tomb before he even realizes.
Backtrack months of progress with a single meal, and you'll see how difficult it is to reconstruct destiny after it shattered on the floor.
The body cannot maintain the simple pace and plan indicated, and rebels out of spite or other self-interests yet unknown. The mind becomes a caged animal clawing in vein at the appointed constraints and scrabbling for purchase on a Sisyphean incline of it's own making.
Weary. So very weary.

20110628

Fascinating fiction spun from the perspective of one who believes that all the wit and wisdom of our universe emanates directly from their glory hole.
A delicate, penetrable flower sown from the seeds of a fluid negotiation long directed towards a disassociated, distracted victor.
Long have the little authors wondered if their unseen short stories would have a lasting effect on the great orators demand for constant consumption and attention.
If there is a moral to the story, it is yet to be found, even with clues scattered around.

20110627

helped get my friend back on the road sunday morning, and i believe the layover was positive.

my back gave out yesterday, literally feet from my house. i was finishing up a good run.. it was too hot and i was tired. i had forgotten my bandages (which are essential) and my cotton shirt (i wear two layers, because i'm self conscious) was stained with blood as i made my way home. anyway, like i said, it was damn hot (seven hells! was the expression which kept coming to mind) and i had bad form coming down the hill. spasm had the effect of lightning arcing across a sky, behind me. so.... sunday was a bit of a chill day. i did play some baseball with m after i picked her back up, but it was mainly an xbox day, and today will be as well. damn body. why can't you can't cooperate with my plans.

i went into work anyway. my coworker, perhaps finally annoyed by my groans and moans, asked if i wanted an ibuprofen, and i reluctantly took one. now i'm loopy. from one. heh.

my ex is still texting me with her planning orgies, and although i had been dutifully ignoring her, i was annoyed and inspired enough this morning to send her the following:



i doubt she had any idea what it was of course. i'm hoping she points the phone at her boyfriend and gets her answer. it amused me, and that was really the point of the exercise.

i had a jalapeno burger today with sweet potato fries at lunch. because i want to sabotage myself, i think. the self flagellation will air on schedule this evening.

20110626

i want to write a song using words rhymed solely garnered from misheard lyrics. that one carrie underwood song (yes, i know, i know) with "carved my name into his leather seats" i always hear as "carved my name into his legacy". and i might play off of that. who knows. my songwriting output has slowed considerably lately, and i guess i consider it a problem rather than a curiosity. everything in my life is seemingly progressing at the safest (and slowest) pace. weight loss, creativity, love, etc. are these doldrums? possibly.
---
m is spending the night with my mom tonight, and i am assisting an awesome friend through a move by providing shelter and entertainment. i get a good feeling helping others, which is ironic in that my introversion has angrily stamped out human contact in the past few months like a ground fire. whether or not i am a judgmental prick, i am a good man at heart.