so i'm sitting here thinking about what i want to write about, as i so rarely do, and decided to jump off the existential cliff.. one of the worst things about this medium is how it was built around accessibility and not creativity.
in its simplest terms, if you take a piece of paper and begin to write on it with pencil or pen, your character, intent, mood, whatever, can usually be surmised easily, simply by a quick at your handwriting. structure, form, spacing, organization.. these aesthetic qualities are quite difficult to reproduce or convey effectively without an analog format for expression. all i have in front of me is a white rectangle with a monotype black font. sure, i could work within the bounds here and produce something different with fonts or colors or what have you, or i could just take a picture of a journal page, but all tactile intent is lost as well as scale.
i have produced months, years really, of these emotionless diatribes for mass consumption, utilizing an inhuman caricature designed, ironically, to make it easier for us all to communicate. it's the equivalent of chopping off the highs and lows from an audio recording. dynamics are lost in translation and all you have is a puddle of midrange mud. perhaps that's why i love songwriting so much. my vocals, unrefined as they can be, and guitar, on the sloppiest day, can convey more loss and hope in five to ten seconds than in a months worth of these silly posts. honestly, the internet is the antithesis of pure communication, it is a muted amalgamation completely forgoing some of our basic senses, and the more we cling to it, the less we appreciate and understand the neglect happening behind and around us.
maybe if you could feel the smudge of a tear on one of my poems, maybe if the smell of rain on one of my hopeless afternoon drives home could hit you the way it hits me, maybe if you were standing over my shoulder right now, as i write this at my desk of my repetitious existence, all of this would mean more. or maybe not.
