so i'm sitting here listening to "high speed dirt" by megadeth, reading "7 ways to beat depression after divorce" on the web, and wondering again why weight loss, why LIFE, is such a struggle for me.
i cannot imagine a woman on the world who fits the puzzle. god help the world if i do get into shape finally.
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holy fuck the depression is just washing over me in waves. i just got home. was sitting in my car with no music playing and, as it has been for the past year, the phrase "i'm done" comes from my mouth. "i need to be done". i need to be done.
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could not bring myself to run today. dressed out, walked outside, turned on gps, and just turned around and back to the house. ate lunch and instead took the dog on a walk. and then i called in sick for the afternoon... which consisted of sage and a nap. thank goodness i had the wherewithal to set the alarm. picked up kiddo, brought her home and said no to ice cream for this week, worked on the bicycle with her and now she's preparing to watch some tv (after she cleaned her room).
