20111202
20111202-2
well it's the morning and i'm still here. that's the good news. taking today off work again to rest and recuperate. have a dentist appt scheduled for tuesday. hope i make it. kiddo is going off with the ex tonight so i won't see her until late saturday evening. my whole world has been turned upside down on this thing, and i feel like just sitting here for awhile, until i can get my bearings. bleh.
20111202
well, i almost checked out for good last night. after lifting weights earlier in the day, i went back to work, picked up my kid, came home, had dinner, and was about to read to her and put her to bed, when.. she had a little energy left and wanted to play tag. we were just running around the house and all of a sudden i was hopelessly dizzy. i laughed at first but then i realized this was serious. my entire world moved inexorably to the left. i went down somewhat hard to the floor, but managed to get into a seated position. the intense dizziness would persist for the next 4-5 hours. my daughter freaked out but i somehow kept my composure enough to get her to get my phone, as my dizziness was showing no signs of letting up. i called my mom and barely remember the conversation.
miraculously, my brother was less than a mile away at a hardware store, and was at my door in less than five minutes. my sister came over a little later and shuffled kiddo off to her house for the night, and my brother took me to the emergency room.
i'm sure the hospital people thought i was drunk, shuffling into there in my work shoes and crappy jacket telling them i was suffering from dizziness. i got back there and as the nurse started to take my blood pressure i immediately vomited, as the nausea finally took its toll. i was mostly incoherent in the hospital, but i remember an EKG, a cat scan, peeing in a cup, and a nurse who turned my arm into a mess doing bloodwork.
the doc finally came in and mostly talked to my mom, as i was a sweaty babbling eyes-closed fool. they put me on a saline IV and pumped a liter of water into me and i seemed to recover a little composure. his diagnosis was vertigo brought on by dehydration.
well it's been 24 hours and i can tell you i've never drank more liquid in my entire life. i'm still not 100% and am worried that it's my inner ear, or possibly this broken wisdom tooth (!) that i've neglected for more than a year. i'm going to call the dentist in the morning.
i guess what i'm saying is that this was a wake up call, and i want to live. seeing the face of my daughter as i was going through this was more motivation that i ever could have hoped for. i hope this never happens again.
my family has been amazing during this, as usual. my sister got m to school and my mom picked her up and brought my dog down here to my parents house, where i've apparently set up camp. i have an important mtg tomorrow at work that i may have to call into (or ask for a reschedule). the vertigo is still coming and going but not nearly as intense as it was. it's more like, i'll get up and all of a sudden i'll be listing to the left like i'm on a boat. the fact that it's still around 24 hours later coupled with the acute onset has me scared as hell.
i'm going to question everything now of course.. stress, diet, exercise, etc. this is seemingly my healthiest year physical wise (and my worst year emotional wise).. it's really no surprise which side is winning. i'm about damn ready for this year to be over though i'll tell you that.
i need to have some friends in my life. being isolated has given me no solace. /sigh
here's the workout of doom, as i'll call it.. don't try this at home?
•Barbell Squat:
•135 lb x 5 reps (+63 pts)
•185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
•185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
•205 lb x 3 reps (+90 pts)
•185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
•185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
•Barbell Deadlift:
•135 lb x 5 reps (+63 pts)
•155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
•185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
•185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
•185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
•Barbell Bench Press:
•135 lb x 5 reps (+63 pts)
•155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
•155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
•185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
•185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
•Wide-Grip Lat Pulldown:
•90 lb x 10 reps (+24 pts)
•90 lb x 10 reps (+24 pts)
•90 lb x 10 reps (+24 pts)
miraculously, my brother was less than a mile away at a hardware store, and was at my door in less than five minutes. my sister came over a little later and shuffled kiddo off to her house for the night, and my brother took me to the emergency room.
i'm sure the hospital people thought i was drunk, shuffling into there in my work shoes and crappy jacket telling them i was suffering from dizziness. i got back there and as the nurse started to take my blood pressure i immediately vomited, as the nausea finally took its toll. i was mostly incoherent in the hospital, but i remember an EKG, a cat scan, peeing in a cup, and a nurse who turned my arm into a mess doing bloodwork.
the doc finally came in and mostly talked to my mom, as i was a sweaty babbling eyes-closed fool. they put me on a saline IV and pumped a liter of water into me and i seemed to recover a little composure. his diagnosis was vertigo brought on by dehydration.
well it's been 24 hours and i can tell you i've never drank more liquid in my entire life. i'm still not 100% and am worried that it's my inner ear, or possibly this broken wisdom tooth (!) that i've neglected for more than a year. i'm going to call the dentist in the morning.
i guess what i'm saying is that this was a wake up call, and i want to live. seeing the face of my daughter as i was going through this was more motivation that i ever could have hoped for. i hope this never happens again.
my family has been amazing during this, as usual. my sister got m to school and my mom picked her up and brought my dog down here to my parents house, where i've apparently set up camp. i have an important mtg tomorrow at work that i may have to call into (or ask for a reschedule). the vertigo is still coming and going but not nearly as intense as it was. it's more like, i'll get up and all of a sudden i'll be listing to the left like i'm on a boat. the fact that it's still around 24 hours later coupled with the acute onset has me scared as hell.
i'm going to question everything now of course.. stress, diet, exercise, etc. this is seemingly my healthiest year physical wise (and my worst year emotional wise).. it's really no surprise which side is winning. i'm about damn ready for this year to be over though i'll tell you that.
i need to have some friends in my life. being isolated has given me no solace. /sigh
here's the workout of doom, as i'll call it.. don't try this at home?
•Barbell Squat:
•135 lb x 5 reps (+63 pts)
•185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
•185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
•205 lb x 3 reps (+90 pts)
•185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
•185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
•Barbell Deadlift:
•135 lb x 5 reps (+63 pts)
•155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
•185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
•185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
•185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
•Barbell Bench Press:
•135 lb x 5 reps (+63 pts)
•155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
•155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
•185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
•185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
•Wide-Grip Lat Pulldown:
•90 lb x 10 reps (+24 pts)
•90 lb x 10 reps (+24 pts)
•90 lb x 10 reps (+24 pts)
20111130
20111130-2
so i go from suicidal daydreams of calling my ex over the holidays to tell her to take good care of my kid, to lifting weights and feeling better. i may seriously need meds. or someone to talk to. now i just have to find someone i won't run away from...
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+63 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+90 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 5 reps (+63 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 5 reps (+63 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
Wide-Grip Lat Pulldown:
90 lb x 10 reps (+24 pts)
90 lb x 10 reps (+24 pts)
90 lb x 10 reps (+24 pts)
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+63 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
205 lb x 3 reps (+90 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 5 reps (+63 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 5 reps (+63 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
Wide-Grip Lat Pulldown:
90 lb x 10 reps (+24 pts)
90 lb x 10 reps (+24 pts)
90 lb x 10 reps (+24 pts)
20111130
ugh. fought with m to get her up and ready. she didn't touch her breakfast, didn't want to wear her tights even though it was freezing, her shoelace broke, asked me to watch tv even though i said no more tv in the mornings. it was just tense and terrible, and it's left me depressed.
you won't see me anymore
left unnoticed
the prey assumes it's safe
walking from face to face
silent stares for a forest of eyes
uncomprehending as they pass on by
a million million short stories
drafted with a broken cast of characters
a former footnote, edited out
still around, somewhere between the lines
i feel like i'm getting close now. even the blue skies are grey.
you won't see me anymore
left unnoticed
the prey assumes it's safe
walking from face to face
silent stares for a forest of eyes
uncomprehending as they pass on by
a million million short stories
drafted with a broken cast of characters
a former footnote, edited out
still around, somewhere between the lines
i feel like i'm getting close now. even the blue skies are grey.
20111129
20111129
breakfast was skipped again.
today is the ex's birthday. fuck her.
yeah yeah i'll have kiddo give her a call after work.
lunch was provided by vendors. a philly chicken salad from lenny's. 3/4 meetings complete. go me. reading through "starting strength" on a work-provided tablet.
dinner was salmon+mayo+pickles+tomatoes and then some greek yogurt + protein powder for dessert. i really didn't need the protein but oh well.
today is the ex's birthday. fuck her.
yeah yeah i'll have kiddo give her a call after work.
lunch was provided by vendors. a philly chicken salad from lenny's. 3/4 meetings complete. go me. reading through "starting strength" on a work-provided tablet.
dinner was salmon+mayo+pickles+tomatoes and then some greek yogurt + protein powder for dessert. i really didn't need the protein but oh well.
20111128
20111128
no brekkie
leftover soup, half a banana and ab
a large sweet potato for dinner, and some random jerky
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+63 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 5 reps (+63 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
Barbell Shrug:
135 lb x 10 reps (+27 pts)
135 lb x 10 reps (+27 pts)
135 lb x 10 reps (+27 pts)
Seated Cable Row:
90 lb x 10 reps (+25 pts)
90 lb x 10 reps (+25 pts)
90 lb x 10 reps (+25 pts)
Triceps Pushdown - Rope Attachment:
40 lb x 10 reps (+5 pts)
40 lb x 10 reps (+5 pts)
40 lb x 10 reps (+5 pts)
Standing Barbell Calf Raise:
95 lb x 10 reps (+12 pts)
95 lb x 10 reps (+12 pts)
95 lb x 10 reps (+12 pts)
leftover soup, half a banana and ab
a large sweet potato for dinner, and some random jerky
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+63 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+86 pts)
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 5 reps (+63 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
Barbell Shrug:
135 lb x 10 reps (+27 pts)
135 lb x 10 reps (+27 pts)
135 lb x 10 reps (+27 pts)
Seated Cable Row:
90 lb x 10 reps (+25 pts)
90 lb x 10 reps (+25 pts)
90 lb x 10 reps (+25 pts)
Triceps Pushdown - Rope Attachment:
40 lb x 10 reps (+5 pts)
40 lb x 10 reps (+5 pts)
40 lb x 10 reps (+5 pts)
Standing Barbell Calf Raise:
95 lb x 10 reps (+12 pts)
95 lb x 10 reps (+12 pts)
95 lb x 10 reps (+12 pts)
20111127
20111127
woke up around 10:30.
two eggs.
grocery shopping.
protein with greek yogurt.
making soup she probably won't eat.
bored.
a wonderful series of texts between me and the ex, and i feel like turd now. how can she still ruin my day so effortlessly. she still has power over me. totally undateable. she has pestered me about returning a voicemail her dad left me last week, and by pester i mean, she told m to tell me to call him, she texted me three times and emailed once.
today's text message transcript (for posterity):
ex: please call my dad.
me: you are annoying. this is my week off, i answer the phone for two people: my boss and my family, and he ain't either. i'll call him from work this week. you found someone else to nag the fuck out of with your control freak bullshit, remember
ex: you are the control freak, asshole. he called you on TUESDAY, for fucks sake. you cannot continue to ignore my family because you don't like me. they are still m's grandparents and aunts and they would like to be in touch. just because she lives with you does not give you the right to shut people out when you feel pissy. get over yourself.
me: he didn't call to talk to her, he called to talk to me. you have nothing to do with it (as usual)
ex: i know that. the point is, it would be nice for you to return calls in a timely fashion, particularly about the holidays and about her!!
me: the point is, you are trying to control something you have zero to do with (as usual)
ex: my dad has asked ME twice why you haven't called back, so I do have something to do with it. It has been made my concern because you won't do something as fucking simple as calling him back.
me: neither of them responded to my x-mas list, but both your sisters did
me: and you fired off your mouth with some accusatory nonsense when i was trying to be nice
ex: maybe they've been waiting to see what everyone else is doing so there is no doubling of gifts. maybe that's what he wants to talk to you about. i have no clue. point is, it's about m. maybe you don't answer me but at least answer them. being nice? since when?
me: i gave them a list of x-mas items in november. they're hosting x-mas morning, my family isn't going to buy anything until they've gotten whatever they're getting. but really, all of this is completely immaterial to me. whats on my mind is how much my daughter is dreading spending 12 hrs in a car with you.
me: and how much i'm going to miss her during the holidays
ex: what has she said? you didn't tell any of us that you were buying for her AFTER our christmas. so how are we supposed to know that?
me: what are we going to tell her, dumbass, "Santa showed up the weekend before Christmas with your gifts, sweetie"
ex: right, because she still spends at least one night away from you on the weekends you do have her. go get drunk and spend time with your friends. take a break.
me: i haven't had a drink of anything in a year.
ex: how about gifts from her family? santa can leave shit at your house while she's gone but not everything is santa.
me: this whole thing is your stupid need to avoid being upstaged, god it's so fucking tiresome.
ex: why do you go to zoo brew then? doesn't matter. point is have some time to yourself. i don't care about being upstaged. i don't even know what the fuck that means. y'all do your celebration, we'll do ours. i just want to make sure she doesn't receive doubles of her gifts! she doesn't need two dolls, two whatevers.
me: my family will most likely be getting her things not on that list so don't worry about duplicate toys
ex: ok, whatever.
ex: by the way, i expect to hear from her on my bday. i dont expect you to take her to get me a card but I would like her to call me.
me: don't even presume to talk to me about where she and I go or stay on our time. I'll do you the same courtesy, because neither of us care to know.
-- that was apparently the end of the conversation, as i didn't get a response --
put my kid in her bed tonight and she says "i know why you and mommy got a divorce. you both wanted to take care of me equally and you fought and mommy decided to leave." what do you say to that, exactly?
two eggs.
grocery shopping.
protein with greek yogurt.
making soup she probably won't eat.
bored.
a wonderful series of texts between me and the ex, and i feel like turd now. how can she still ruin my day so effortlessly. she still has power over me. totally undateable. she has pestered me about returning a voicemail her dad left me last week, and by pester i mean, she told m to tell me to call him, she texted me three times and emailed once.
today's text message transcript (for posterity):
ex: please call my dad.
me: you are annoying. this is my week off, i answer the phone for two people: my boss and my family, and he ain't either. i'll call him from work this week. you found someone else to nag the fuck out of with your control freak bullshit, remember
ex: you are the control freak, asshole. he called you on TUESDAY, for fucks sake. you cannot continue to ignore my family because you don't like me. they are still m's grandparents and aunts and they would like to be in touch. just because she lives with you does not give you the right to shut people out when you feel pissy. get over yourself.
me: he didn't call to talk to her, he called to talk to me. you have nothing to do with it (as usual)
ex: i know that. the point is, it would be nice for you to return calls in a timely fashion, particularly about the holidays and about her!!
me: the point is, you are trying to control something you have zero to do with (as usual)
ex: my dad has asked ME twice why you haven't called back, so I do have something to do with it. It has been made my concern because you won't do something as fucking simple as calling him back.
me: neither of them responded to my x-mas list, but both your sisters did
me: and you fired off your mouth with some accusatory nonsense when i was trying to be nice
ex: maybe they've been waiting to see what everyone else is doing so there is no doubling of gifts. maybe that's what he wants to talk to you about. i have no clue. point is, it's about m. maybe you don't answer me but at least answer them. being nice? since when?
me: i gave them a list of x-mas items in november. they're hosting x-mas morning, my family isn't going to buy anything until they've gotten whatever they're getting. but really, all of this is completely immaterial to me. whats on my mind is how much my daughter is dreading spending 12 hrs in a car with you.
me: and how much i'm going to miss her during the holidays
ex: what has she said? you didn't tell any of us that you were buying for her AFTER our christmas. so how are we supposed to know that?
me: what are we going to tell her, dumbass, "Santa showed up the weekend before Christmas with your gifts, sweetie"
ex: right, because she still spends at least one night away from you on the weekends you do have her. go get drunk and spend time with your friends. take a break.
me: i haven't had a drink of anything in a year.
ex: how about gifts from her family? santa can leave shit at your house while she's gone but not everything is santa.
me: this whole thing is your stupid need to avoid being upstaged, god it's so fucking tiresome.
ex: why do you go to zoo brew then? doesn't matter. point is have some time to yourself. i don't care about being upstaged. i don't even know what the fuck that means. y'all do your celebration, we'll do ours. i just want to make sure she doesn't receive doubles of her gifts! she doesn't need two dolls, two whatevers.
me: my family will most likely be getting her things not on that list so don't worry about duplicate toys
ex: ok, whatever.
ex: by the way, i expect to hear from her on my bday. i dont expect you to take her to get me a card but I would like her to call me.
me: don't even presume to talk to me about where she and I go or stay on our time. I'll do you the same courtesy, because neither of us care to know.
-- that was apparently the end of the conversation, as i didn't get a response --
put my kid in her bed tonight and she says "i know why you and mommy got a divorce. you both wanted to take care of me equally and you fought and mommy decided to leave." what do you say to that, exactly?
20111126
20111126
she had a nightmare last night. dreamt she went on a school trip to a museum and found a working time machine and went back to before she was born. i actually recorded her explaining it to me again over lunch. poor thing.
it was supposed to be a rest day. instead, i did a little lifting. we had indian food (she loves that place) and saw the muppet movie. came home and we played kinect and danced and generally had a good day. i was somewhat in a daze. sang to her a little tonight at bedtime... i think it was sort of an homage to the last track of the white album... anyway she enjoyed it. yertle the turtle was the book. she asked if i'd ever shook dr seuss's hand.
more beatles tonight. last night i listened to the entire white album while wikipedia'ing each song for the backstory. incredibly interesting stuff. i think i'm more addicted than ever to their music because of the songwriting process and personalities. who would've known there's a song written about eric clapton's chocolate addiction?
Standing Military Press:
65 lb x 10 reps (+30 pts)
75 lb x 10 reps (+35 pts)
85 lb x 10 reps (+39 pts)
Triceps Pushdown - Rope Attachment:
40 lb x 10 reps (+5 pts)
40 lb x 10 reps (+5 pts)
40 lb x 10 reps (+5 pts)
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 5 reps (+63 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
Seated Cable Row:
90 lb x 10 reps (+25 pts)
90 lb x 10 reps (+25 pts)
90 lb x 10 reps (+25 pts)
i guess it's abbey road tonight.
jesus god i'm alone.
it was supposed to be a rest day. instead, i did a little lifting. we had indian food (she loves that place) and saw the muppet movie. came home and we played kinect and danced and generally had a good day. i was somewhat in a daze. sang to her a little tonight at bedtime... i think it was sort of an homage to the last track of the white album... anyway she enjoyed it. yertle the turtle was the book. she asked if i'd ever shook dr seuss's hand.
more beatles tonight. last night i listened to the entire white album while wikipedia'ing each song for the backstory. incredibly interesting stuff. i think i'm more addicted than ever to their music because of the songwriting process and personalities. who would've known there's a song written about eric clapton's chocolate addiction?
Standing Military Press:
65 lb x 10 reps (+30 pts)
75 lb x 10 reps (+35 pts)
85 lb x 10 reps (+39 pts)
Triceps Pushdown - Rope Attachment:
40 lb x 10 reps (+5 pts)
40 lb x 10 reps (+5 pts)
40 lb x 10 reps (+5 pts)
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 5 reps (+63 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
155 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
Seated Cable Row:
90 lb x 10 reps (+25 pts)
90 lb x 10 reps (+25 pts)
90 lb x 10 reps (+25 pts)
i guess it's abbey road tonight.
jesus god i'm alone.
20111125
20111125
nothing like starting the day off with a good solid cry.
"i'll see you in my dreams." - pappaw to m tonight
tempted to write a song about that phrase.
still dealing with ex drama. every time i reply to a text or an email i get like this deluge.
morbid song is complete. at least that's one interpretation.
breakfast? eggs
then some protein
then i ran
then i had salmon croquettes
then some more protein
still havent called the ex-FiL back. every time my ex bugs me about it i put their family in the penalty box for two days. passive aggressive? yep. therapudic? incredibly.
"i'll see you in my dreams." - pappaw to m tonight
tempted to write a song about that phrase.
still dealing with ex drama. every time i reply to a text or an email i get like this deluge.
morbid song is complete. at least that's one interpretation.
breakfast? eggs
then some protein
then i ran
then i had salmon croquettes
then some more protein
still havent called the ex-FiL back. every time my ex bugs me about it i put their family in the penalty box for two days. passive aggressive? yep. therapudic? incredibly.
20111124
20111124
three miles this morning, feeling good. sooo.... this is probably too cheesy for facebook, let's do it here.
what am i thankful for this year?
i'm thankful for my daughter. we are still a family, even if it's just the two of us (and the dog).
i'm thankful i have a cush job with flexible hours, allowing me to be an effective single parent.
i'm thankful for my health, and the ability to do the things i've done.
i'm thankful i have kind and loving parents, who are totally supportive through anything.
i'm thankful i have a roof over my head and food to eat and "stuff". although i'm not so big on "stuff" lately. seems like i've just started a cardboard box collection, thanks to amazon.
it's not been a good year for my family. divorces, evictions, deaths, etc. but i'm thankful that 2011 is almost over. because you can always start fresh. always.
what am i thankful for this year?
i'm thankful for my daughter. we are still a family, even if it's just the two of us (and the dog).
i'm thankful i have a cush job with flexible hours, allowing me to be an effective single parent.
i'm thankful for my health, and the ability to do the things i've done.
i'm thankful i have kind and loving parents, who are totally supportive through anything.
i'm thankful i have a roof over my head and food to eat and "stuff". although i'm not so big on "stuff" lately. seems like i've just started a cardboard box collection, thanks to amazon.
it's not been a good year for my family. divorces, evictions, deaths, etc. but i'm thankful that 2011 is almost over. because you can always start fresh. always.
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