20120531

lunch: chicken and cottage cheese, some cheerios
dinner: steak and squash

kiddo spent the day with her cousin, and i had one last day to myself.

finished tension and sidelong. good stuff.

20120530

well, i went to pick up my kid today. because she wouldn't eat at my ex's house, and was just generally upset at being over there at all.

homesick, etc.

lunch: newk's ultimate salad i think
dinner: fuck i dont even know

i was so utterly destroyed today i don't even know what happened. i need to put up the text messages but it's just not in me. she's a controlling dickbag, that is sufficient for now.

Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
275 lb x 1 reps (+81 pts)
275 lb x 3 reps (+119 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 10 reps (+124 pts)
295 lb x 1 reps (+93 pts)
315 lb x 1 reps (+106 pts)
Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
205 lb x 4 reps (+96 pts)
225 lb x 1 reps (+66 pts)
Romanian Deadlift:
135 lb x 5 reps (+52 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)

20120529

text message received: "m wants to come home. she is making herself upset and sick and won't eat. we have explained that you have to work and that there isn't anyone home to stay with her, but she just keeps saying she wants you. I want her to stay and work through this but she is really making herself sick. I have asked her to calm herself down with deep breaths before we talk about it, or before she calls you. Sometimes she is ok, but she wants to come home and I am asking if you want her to. If not, you need to explain why not, and if so, you'll need to come get her this evening."

total lack of parenting ability? check.
attempted delegation of all responsibility? check.

wtf am i going to do?

i went and got my kid, that's what i did.

lunch: grilled chicken salad from newk's
dinner: a piece of chicken, some cheerios, milk

no lifting. no recording. just drama.

20120528

breakfast: four egg omelet and mini sausages
lunch: chicken breast, stir fry
dinner?: some baby cereal back at the house with protein powder

kiddo has called twice. she is homesick. i explained to bitchface that i am her home, but she is insistent on "teaching her a lesson", so she won't be coming home until friday. she then tells me i am too indulgent on her.

i can almost bet i'll get a copout message soon.

20120527

lunch: two pieces of salmon
dinner: two hot dogs, sausage and cheese, some nuts

my friend funkshun had a party tonight, so i went. no kiddo around, just me. i got all nervous thinking there might be women there but .. there weren't. the good news is that my nervous energy resulted in two spotless bathrooms at my place before i left. wishful fucking thinking indeed.

so my friend found out he's having a kid (i did happen to notice a hole in the wall when i came in), and i tried to give him good advice. i never in a million years would have imagined he'd be a dad, but i guess everyone has to settle down eventually, whether you want to or not.

stayed at mom's overnight. fell asleep in a foldout with music in my ears.

20120526

cycled 10mi today. then mowed the front yard.

breakfast: leftover soup
lunch: chicken, cottage cheese, turnip greens
dinner: oatmeal with protein powder

bitchface put me into a terrible mood/state tonight, and i think i took it out on my friend. i hope i didn't hurt her, because that wasn't(is never) my intent. fml.

20120525

kiddo's last day at school. she's got to be the only kid not excited about it this morning, and that's purely because she has to spend the weekend/week with my ex. bleh.

lunch: chicken and cottage cheese
dinner: homemade soup

Barbell Bench Press:
135 lb x 10 reps (+77 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
185 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
Front Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+66 pts)
Barbell Shrug:
135 lb x 5 reps (+24 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+45 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+45 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+45 pts)
295 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
295 lb x 5 reps (+72 pts)
Standing Barbell Shoulder Press:
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
95 lb x 5 reps (+69 pts)
Barbell Deadlift:
185 lb x 5 reps (+81 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)


nightmare 1: she's having sex with guys and girls, i tell boyfriend and he's okay with it. why is this going on inside my house, and why is this dream going on inside my head. i want a reset switch. so tired of dried up tears. there's no escape.
except to burrow deeper within.

20120524

i never knew that this, could be my fondest wish
standing bathed in gold, invited to the grove
and even in their midst, determined to exist
you think i'm standing still, but there's an iron will (to grow)

lunch: canned chicken, cottage cheese, canned mixed vegetables, some leftover cereal and cashews (fuck, overate)
dinner: protein powder-infused baby oatmeal

spent the evening with my kiddo. too tired to do much else.

20120523

moe's opened a new location near the workplace so we went by for a (free) lunch on their opening day. it was okay i guess.

lunch: steak salad
dinner: omelet

Barbell Squat:
135 lb x 5 reps (+57 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
Barbell Deadlift:
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
135 lb x 10 reps (+68 pts)
205 lb x 5 reps (+92 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
225 lb x 5 reps (+106 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
255 lb x 3 reps (+104 pts)
Plank:
60 sec (+21 pts)
60 sec (+21 pts)
60 sec (+21 pts)

20120522

lunch: grilled chicken salad
dinner: salad bar at jason's

went to the library and she got some books. off to jason's for dinner, then swung by kroger's.

no lifting tonight except some light deadlifting... ran out of time.