I feel so incredibly helpless right now. My mood is just pointed and bleak and focused and sad and ready to quit. m said I am a bad father last night. She's right. I was a bad husband too.
I never did the right things for ashly and never took care of her like a real husband should or could. m, if you're reading this, or ever read any of my writings, I just want you to know that you've done NOTHING wrong. a broke me, plain and simple, and I can't put myself back together again. There are not enough apologies in the world to make up for what I feel I need to do next, and I know it will probably ruin your life, but I've never been this sad, and i can't do this anymore. All my hopes and dreams were crushed underfoot and I need to check out. I'm sorry i wasn't stronger. I tried to raise you the best I could, my beautiful little girl. a doesn't know how to love, and time will show you this. If I could impart any wisdom for you to carry along, it'd be that you should be stronger than your dad and love more than your mom. That is the key to your happiness, and never forget it.
I will always love you, whether from above or below
