verge of tears. good name for a song. it's been me all morning. ate too much this morning, fucked up my foot courtesy of a shovel yesterday, so i can't run. went to church (why i don't know), but it was overall a positive experience. i think i wanted to give thanks for getting back safely from my trip and for my presentation going well. i am by nature an indecisive person. it sucks, and i know i have to work on it. religion is the worst aspect of this. i listen to metal, and most of the time i consider myself agnostic. but sometimes the pendulum swings this way or that. i wish i had the luxury of a conviction of faith, but it has never happened. will it? who knows. eventually i should just decide.
i stare at the moms at church and wonder if i'd be happy with one of them. i stare at the women at the grocery store. i just look onward, do i see a future or am i sitting on the shore of a sea filled with nameless faces?
