divorce is a horrible thing, truly. for some time i thought the worst part of it was the loss of love. but love, like happiness, is a temporary thing. what's become ever so much more apparent is the loss of support. you simply can no longer count on that person. today m needed hair and makeup for her dance pictures, and my ex was nowhere to be seen. i can still count on my family, and they came through, but the whole experience -- watching all those moms put effort (and love) into their daughters -- really saddened and tired me out.
i've also learned there are other forms of divorce: smaller divorces, still capable of rending you from a person, a concept, or construct of your life. i am divorced from so much of the past, and each day evermore divorced from the present, and i'm curious how long it will take before i'll have the power to divorce myself from the future. perhaps this will never happen.. who knows.
