crawled in bed at 9pm. it's now 12:30am. still can't sleep. too many things too many things too many things.
wrote one verse of a song. it's hopeful. am i? i don't know what i am. my shoulder hurts and my leg hurts and i can't put up a fight right now. i can only be. and being is not enough.
if i could flush all of my negativity down the drain, what would i have? would i be recognizable? would i like myself?
and then there's that damned girl. another museum piece. not until my fat disappears. will it ever? probably not.
sleep attempt #3.
